Jan. 9: While I was in the shower this morning, I was marveling at the fact that I have less than five weeks until my “due date.” The new one’s approaching birth feels more real. In fact, I took tags off newborn clothes and washed them last night. SO CUTE!!!
My mind drifted to think about what I was doing when I was at this point in my pregnancy with Andrew. On the equivalent of New Year’s, Bryan and I had walked the Syttende Mai walk together. Then I had a fun surprise baby shower. It was late May when I was 35 weeks pregnant with Andrew. Ben and Melanie had just visited, and I had just set up this website.
And the equivalent of this week was when my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I remember getting a phone call from her on a Thursday afternoon saying cheerfully that she was in the hospital, but it was just to have some tests run. No need to panic. I could come by to visit after work.
My first real posts to my website were about Mom’s health.
I remember how sad she sounded when we started getting bad news, and she said that she didn’t want me to have to put that kind of news on my website because it was supposed to be a place to post things about the new baby. I told her that I thought of my website as a place to post things about life, and this was life, so from my perspective, there shouldn’t be censorship to limit it to the planned and the happy.
It feels like there was a lot of time between the point when Mom was diagnosed and when Andrew was born one month later. There were so many doctor’s appointments. SO much overwhelming research and learning about cancer and treatments. We had the first of what became two-and-a-quarter years of packing my entire family into doctor’s offices to talk about treatment options. Urgh.
I guess that as I’ve had that flashback, I’ll just be glad that we had as much time with Mom as we did after that initial hard diagnosis. And I’ll be glad that we don’t have any reason to expect that the last month of this pregnancy will be filled with such difficult times.
It’s a pretty day today. The sun seems to have come out from the clouds, and there’s good music on the radio:)