Jan. 6: We’re back home from a really nice weekend at Jack’s house. As we prepared for it, I was very aware that it was our first trip to Jack’s since Mom died. In fact, as I was getting ready to go, I kept having sort of flashbacks to our trip last summer.
It was a few days after our trip to Mayo where we were told that Mom’s cancer had most likely returned and was not treatable. Mom wasn’t feeling good, but she supervised the cooking, and in retrospect, it was one of the last fun things we did together as a family. I still can’t believe that only two weeks later we were starting to work with Hospice and four weeks later she was gone. I really still don’t feel like I can get my mind around all that. But that background was the undercurrent of my thoughts as we planned for our winter trip to Jack’s this year.
One thing that I haven’t been sure about how to approach is how to recognize or acknowledge Mom and the fact that she’s not here as we get together for family activities. Our mode of operation thus far these last months has mostly been to try to get through milestones without melodrama and by trying to make evens as fun as possible. I find so much comfort in being with my siblings. When we’re all together, things just kind of seem OK at the same time that our togetherness makes it that much more obvious who is not there.
But there’s something about all of us and the parts of Mom that we all bring to situations just by being ourselves that makes the tightness in my heart soften and my worries about how we’ll move forward seem less relevant.
And our winter weekend at Jack’s was a lot of fun. Andrew had a blast, and Bryan and I so appreciate having a house full of people who love and help to care for him. On Saturday, we took a long walk on some roads near Jack’s house. Andrew had fun throwing snowballs, getting thrown into snow banks, running fast down the hills, and getting carried about half the time. Even so, he walked for perhaps a couple miles, and he had a good time about 98% of the time. Jack mad a big bonfire, and several of us enjoyed sitting near it and watching the fire burn. There was a lot of Trivial Persuit and a poker tournament, which Becky-who-has-never-played-poker won:) I made a chocolate cake last night. I love baking cakes! Bryan enjoyed some sauna time this morning interspersed with a jump in the snow.
Overall, it was a relaxing, fun, and feel-good kind of weekend. Photos are in the gallery.
Althea, Bryan, Andrew, and Sylvia