Author: althea

Aug. 27:  7 pm.  I’m feeling pretty ragged tonight.  I think the effects of being up last night and a really full, hard day.
I left Mom’s house at about 1:30 to go home to nap.  Mom had been sleeping and crying, but was generally very quiet from 5 am to 1 pm.  In the afternoon, Dad napped in one of the kids’ beds while Michael sat and kept watch over Mom.  It was a good thing he was right there, because at one point she decided to stand up and was apparently unsteady enough that she probably would have fallen if he hadn’t been there to steady her.

I called home at about 5:45 tonight, and the nurse was meeting with Dad and Michael.  They went up and tended to Mom, and gave her some liquid oral medication to help deal with anxiety and confusion.  We asked if we could have some too because we are anxious and confused.  The nurse didn’t seem to think that was a good idea.

I was on speaker phone for much of that visit.  It sounds like Mom will be staying at home tonight, and we may look at moving her to the Hospice center tomorrow.  In a little bit, I expect to hear back from Dad and Michael to work out a schedule for watching over Mom through the night.  That’s the pretty low update for now…
~Althea

Aug. 27: 12:20 pm.  Our Hospice nurses and social worker have recently left, and I finished making some initial phone calls, so now it’s time for a web update.  And the update is that we are going to hold tight.

The nurses and our social worker talked to us quite a bit about what has been going on over the last couple days.  They also did an examination of my mom up in her room.  At this time, they don’t feel like she has any care needs that aren’t being attended to here at home.

After last night’s events, my dad is feeling really overwhelmed and like she needs greater, more 24 hour care than what we are able to provide here at home.  Right now, though, Mom isn’t interested in moving from the bed at all and declined several suggestions that we move her to the Hospice center.

At the moment, Dad and Terry and Michael have gone out to get some lunch, Maretta is holding down the fort at my house, her fiance, Kyle, is on the way down to see her from St. Paul, and Joe just arrived with his friends from their multi-thousand-mile-trip to Bowdoin.  Mom has been sleeping for the last seven hours or so.

So we’re in a bit of a holding pattern. We have someone from Hospice coming by early this afternoon to help Mom do some self-care.  Then we have another nurse coming by this evening.  Michael and Dad and I are going to figure out a way of doing shifts so that someone is able to respond to any of Mom’s needs throughout the night while the rest of us get some rest.

The nurses seemed to think that in the next 24 hours or so we would be able to tell if Mom has hit a plateau of sorts or if she is going to experience more of a decline. In terms of care, the entire emphasis at this point is on keeping her comfortable and safe.  Feels like it’s been a big day already!

I’ll continue to update as the situation moves forward.
~Althea

Aug. 27: 7 am.  This sure isn’t easy.  I feel like with things with Mom’s health that we’ve been kind of feeling our way along and getting through half-days, making Mom comfortable and tending to her needs.  It makes it hard to see where we’ve been and where we’re going.  The last day or two, though, have been mostly unremarkable but overall pretty troubling and hard.

Mom’s become slowly but increasingly confused and unresponsive and so very, very tired.  Last night we called Hospice and spoke to a nurse because we were concerned about her confused mental state and about how little food she’s eaten in the last day.  The nurse was very kind but said that all the symptoms and signs that Mom is exhibiting are normal for someone in a declining state.  She has medications for pain and for nausea and for anxiety, so that’s mostly what they have for treatments for her right now.

I took Maretta home with me last night.  The last week or so has really worn her ragged, and I worry that she has reach the limits of her ability to deal with Mom and the situation at home for at least a while.

At about 3 am, my dad called me at home because Mom had thrown up in bed.  I came over to help him clean up, and a Hospice nurse came over around 4 am to check on Mom and to talk with us.
Mom is in tough shape, and for the moment, her approach to questioning reminds me a bit of Andrew…”No” to most questions…and that includes mostly queries about medicine or drink or blankets.  She says she just wants to sleep.

At this point, Mom is sleeping in bed.  Actually, in the baby monitor I have sitting next to me, I can hear both Mom and Dad breathing sleepily together.

Our social worker, Mary, and our RN, Jenny, are going to come over this morning…we should find out what time about 8:30 am.  I’ll post an update after our conversation with them.
~Althea

Aug. 26: Here’s an update straight from Dennis Drive.  Mom’s sleeping on the couch, and Andrew is not sleeping from his crib up in Joe’s room.  Hmm.  We’ll have to see if we can’t fix that.  The little guy needs a nap!
I titled this post “down days” because Mom has been sleeping a tremendous amount the last few days.  I think she might be taking a lesson from Liberty, the family cat, about good sleep habits.  Sleep 22 hours, wake for two.  Mom has had some perkier moments, but in general, even when she’s awake, she’s been pretty weary and hasn’t been “clicking” mentally as well as normal.  That’s pretty frustrating for her.
She’s doing alright.  Taking lots of pain meds and sleeping lots. Not much to report beyond that.  We’re all concerned about her, but she’s pretty comfortable, and I think we’re doing everything that can be done to help her right now.
I continue to be paged from the young one upstairs.  Signing off for now…

Aug. 24: We’re now one week past last Friday-which-was-so-hard.  Mom had a really quiet and sleep-filled day today.  She was feeling better…the pain she was experiencing yesterday stopped in the evening, and she slept long and pretty well through the night.
I took Andrew into Karen’s today and worked until around 11 am at Gathering Waters.  Then I went over to Mom’s in time for her 11:30 appointment with her Hospice nurse, Jenny.  Hospice has already proven themselves a really valuable partner.  Twice now, they have been able to do lab tests in our home that Mom would otherwise have had to go into the clinic for.  Jenny will come by once or twice a week to check on Mom, to review her symptoms and make sure that we’re using the best treatments, and to bring us things to make life easier.  Her next visit is on Tuesday.

After her nurse left, Mom slept for a couple hours while I made a bunch of calls about health insurance.  Mom was in good spirits, and she ate a pretty big lunch.  She was also just really worn out, and I think that a quiet day with very little activity was just what the doctor ordered.  I left to pick up Andrew at 3:45, and Mom had just headed up to bed for a longer rest.  She wasn’t taking any medications today, so it seems like she’s feeling somewhat better.

Maretta’s friend Laurie was in town today, so she had the chance to get out and spend the afternoon with her.  Maretta has been doing just a wonderful job helping Mom, but I think she really needed a day away too.  She will be in town for about another week before she plans to return to St. Kate’s.  We heard from Joe that he and his friends made it to New York to pick up Joe’s roommate.  They should be having a nice time together.

I may end up not seeing Mom tomorrow, depending on how things go.  Could just take the day and spend it with my boys here at home.  I hear that our rainy, rainy days are supposed to end in sunshine tomorrow.  It would be fun to spend some time outdoors again.

If there is anything notable, I’ll be sure to post it, but I may back off from daily posts in the upcoming days.  Perhaps it’s the little one growing in me, or maybe it’s just that our days are so full, but I’m pretty tired in the evenings!

Feel free to email me if you have questions.
~Althea

Aug. 23: Today was a really big day.  Mom’s friend Christy came down from Wausau for a visit this afternoon.  Then around 4 pm, Joe and his friends Lindsey and Leah left for their trip back to Bowdoin.  It was kind of hard to say goodbye, but they’re off for a nice adventure.
Mom was alright today.  She barely napped at all though the afternoon.  Toward the end of the afternoon, she developed a “stitch” in her side that seemed to cause her quite a bit of discomfort.  I’m hoping that the pain meds that she took just before I left will help her sleep well.
Pictures of the day are in the gallery.
To help me keep track of Mom’s schedule while I’m at work and home, I put together an online calendar for her.  You’re welcome to bookmark it too.

Aug 22: Seems like Mom had a pretty good day today.  Seems like she’s been pretty steady for the last four or five days.  I stayed at work until around 1 pm today and came over to Mom’s after that.  This morning she had a visit from the priest at St. Peter’s Church.  Joe’s friends arrived in Madison from their cross-country road trip and had a nice visit with Mom around lunch time.  When I arrived, Mom was napping.  But all afternoon, she was doing her old-fashioned napping where she interjects comments into the conversations going on around her during her naps.  [It’s been weird to see her sleep so soundly these past weeks that she isn’t aware of what is going on in the room around her.  Usually while she’s napping you can ask her a question and get a quick response.]

Mom’s dear childhood friend Mary Read drove up from Chicago for a visit with Mom today.  Mary’s daughter is getting married next Saturday, so they had a nice time talking through wedding details and admiring the flower girl’s lovely dress.  Mom took a nice, long nap mid-visit, and Mary joined her from the chair nearby.  Meanwhile, I did a coarse sort of all the papers on the kitchen counter.  Shuffling and organizing papers is one of the things I do best:)
Mom requested a pizza from Roman Candle tonight.  She got the saltiest pizza she could find, with feta cheese, carmelized onions, and Kalamata olives.  Mom’s been really into salty foods these days, and I think that she and I have eaten nearly a full, big jar of olives in the last several days.
Joe is leaving for college tomorrow afternoon, but I think that’s the extent of the activity she has going on.  Her Hospice nurse is coming by on Friday for a weekly check-in.  I’m hoping for a few more days as nice as the last ones have been.
That’s the update from me!
~Althea

Aug. 21: When I left Mom this afternoon, she was sitting on the couch, visiting with her friend Nancy, and pouring over knitting projects.  Nancy and her daughter Katie came down from the Twin Cities to visit with Mom today.  I think they had a really nice time being together, and Mom seemed as perky and able to connect and carry on conversations as I’ve seen her in the last several days.  Katie is getting married in January, and they had fun talking about those wedding plans.  Mom and Nancy met when I was about one.  Katie and I are the same age, and so Mom and Nancy have been friends for nearly 30 years.  Time flies when you’re having fun:)
Photos of their visit and other pictures of Andrew and our family are in the gallery.
Earlier in the morning, Mom’s Hospice nurse and social worker came over for an introductory visit.  They seemed like very nice people, and the visit was good.  They brought up a lot of pretty difficult topics, so the conversations weren’t always easy ones.  However, I feel lucky that we can get some guidance and support from them as we move forward.

I talked more with Joe and Maretta today about the big decisions they are making.  Maretta is planning on returning to St. Paul next week for the fall semester.  She’s thinking a lot about her wedding.  Mom has been really sad that her health is affecting Maretta’s ability to have a completely happy, fairytale wedding.  And it makes Maretta sad that Mom is sad about her wedding.  Kind of a crazy circle…  Maretta and I were discussing the idea of having a small ceremony in the next couple months followed by a reception/party at a later date. These are some hard choices to make…
Joe is really on the fence about returning to school for the semester.  He’s talked to his dean, and in looking at his major, he doesn’t need to take classes this semester in order to graduate on time.  But Bowdoin is a wonderful place, and a big part of him would like to be there.  Joe’s friends are coming into town tomorrow to pick him up to drive him to Maine.  So he has some continued intense decision making to do in the next day.
I mention all this because as much as my mom needs everyone’s support, I feel like the kids do too.  So please keep them in your thoughts.
No major appointments are scheduled for tomorrow.  I’ll keep an update:)
~Althea