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Dandy’s Obituary

dandy_obituary.jpgDotzour, G. Gordon, 83, prominent realtor of West Wichita and owner of Dotzour Realtors, died Thursday, October 18, 2007.
Service, 1:00 P.M., Monday, October 22, First Presbyterian Church. Graveside service will follow at 4:00 P.M., Resthaven Cemetery. Viewing, 4:00-9:00 P.M., Saturday, October 20 and 1:00-9:00 P.M., Sunday, October 21, Downing & Lahey Mortuary West.

Gordon Dotzour was born on January 28, 1924 to Grover and Jennie Dotzour. He grew up in Riverside and attended North High School where his father, Grover, was the first principal.
Gordon played on the Redskin 2-man and 4-man State Championship golf team in 1940. Gordon attended Wichita State for a semester where he played clarinet with the Jazz Band. He enlisted in the Army Air Force. After his discharge he finished his BA degree at Stanford and played on the Stanford golf team which won the National Championship that year.

He returned to Kansas and took a job at the bank in Macksville where he met Betty Jo Cotton. They were married in 1947 after a short courtship.
Gordon took a job with Sheaffer Pen Co and then returned to his love of golf as an Assistant Pro at McDonald Park Golf Course working with Tex Consolver and Dean Adkisson. During those years, Gordon, Tex and another Wichita pro, Gene O’Brien, played on the Tourof the PGA.
Gordon then went into the real estate business with Luis and Tony Casado.
Under their tutelage he learned the Real Estate business and opened his own business, Dotzour Realtors, with an office on West Douglas. He later built his offices at 9100 W. Central. While in the Real Estate business Gordon promoted West Wichita. He laid the groundwork for the first bank in West Wichita, the National Bank of Wichita and was one of the first directors. He published The Westerner, a weekly area newspaper, and was on the Wichita Park Board when Pawnee Prairie Golf Course was built. After many years of promoting the area he was often referred to as the “Mayor” of West Wichita.
Gordon and his son, Mark, developed the Gleneagles Addition in west Wichita. Gordon retired in 1982 from business after health problems and returned to playing golf at Rolling Hills and enjoying life with his wife, son and grandchildren.
Survivors, wife, Betty Jo; son and daughter-in-law, Mark and LuAnn of College Station, TX; grandchildren and their spouses, Bryan and Althea Dotzour, Melanie and Ben Davis; great-grandson, Andrew Dotzour.

Memorials established with First Presbyterian Church, 525 N. Broadway, Wichita, KS 67214 and Harry Hynes Memorial Hospice, 313 S. Market, Wichita, KS 67202. Tributes may be sent to the family via www.dlwichita.com.
Published in the Wichita Eagle from 10/20/2007 – 10/22/2007.

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Dandy has left us

Oct. 18: Sad news to report tonight.  We got a call from Bryan’s mom around supper time that Bryan’s grandpa, Dandy, has passed away.  It feels really strange to think that he is gone.  Bryan is flying out to Wichita tomorrow afternoon.  Things feel all off-kilter here.

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Dandy’s health is failing

dandy.jpgOct. 18: I really wish that I wasn’t writing this post.  Bryan’s grandpa, Dandy, moved from the hospital to a Hospice center in Wichita yesterday.  Bryan, his sister, and his parents have plans to meet in Kansas on Friday to spend time with Dandy and with Grandma Jo and to be there to support each other.
Dandy is such a wonderful, generous, full-of-life person, and it’s hard to know that he and Grandma Jo and Bryan’s dad are in a position where they are having to say goodbye.  My heart is with them.  In fact most of my thoughts are with them too.
Bryan’s dad is an only child, and they are all so close.  I feel like it must somehow be harder when there are less people to carry the burdens, to support and remember together.
Dandy was so happy to see and hear about Andrew.  Andy and Dandy he would say.  I would really like to take Andrew down to give Dandy another opportunity to see him, but it seems like this weekend is probably a better time for Bryan to be able to go down and support his dad and grandma as an adult rather than as a parent-trailing-a-toddler.
I feel so very lucky to have married into a family that is filled with such wonderful people.  My world is better (immeasurably so!) because of the family that Dandy helped to raise.

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Andrew is singing

Oct. 18: Andrew spends much of his time singing.  Favorites are The Farmer in the Dell, Old McDonald, and ABCs.  He also loves counting.  Not that he’s accurately identifying how many of anything he sees.  He just likes to say the numbers.  “One, two, three, four, five.”  Counting things on his plate or trees we pass along the road.  Then he counts up to “twenty-teen” just for fun.

This morning, he wanted to get back in his crib and read books while I took a shower.  When I came out, he was looking at one of his books, and singing Old McDonald about the animals on each of the pages.  “Ollld McDonald had an aardvark.  EE II EEE III OOOO.”  “Old McDonald had a monster, with a grrr here and a grrr there…”  That kid is just so fun!

We were in Northfield and St. Paul last weekend for a Carleton alumni committee I serve on and to visit Aunt Maretta and Uncle Kyle.  Andrew and Bryan had a fun time hanging out together, and Andrew just kept turning on the charm.  He’s at such a fun age.

When I brought him his toast for breakfast this morning, I said, “I cut it into four squares for you, Andrew.”  And he replied, “OH Thank you, Mommy. Squares! Oh my gosh!”

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Processing August experiences

Oct. 18: Lots of people have lovingly been asking me how I’ve been doing as we adjust to life without Mom.  In general, it’s really not fun.  I still worry most about the rest of my family and how they are all coping.  And I feel so deflated in the regular moments when I think to myself, “I should call Mom to…”  Then I kind of frown and often feel a lump in my throat and then move on.
There’s things I see or hear that so clearly remind me of times we’ve had togehter.  I can see her and hear her and remember her so clearly, that it’s painfully startling to re-realize that she’s gone.  Now it’s just me holding the memories of the times we have had together.  The other side of the “remember when” conversations is gone.
I’ve had so much fun picking out clothes and baby books and little things for this new baby.  And Mom would have loved to be part of it.  I feel so lucky to have a wonderful mother-in-law and sister to share these fun times with.  And since they both knew and loved Mom, it helps me feel more like she’s part of all this too.
All that said, on a daily basis, I don’t spend much time feeling sad. I sometimes worry that I may be avoiding the grieving process altogether, but then I think that a lot of that took place for me over the summer and in some ways over the last couple years.  And I know that Mom was really worried about me being too sad or stressed during this pregnancy.  Maybe she gave me a mommy spoonful of heart-healing medicine when she left.  Because for better or worse, while I miss her so much, I’m not holding a lot of sadness in my heart.

One thing that has been regularly coming to mind is the last weeks of Mom’s life.  At the time, we were all in a mode where we were doing what needed to get done.  We were providing a lot of care and nursing for Mom, and I was trying really hard to be accepting of the place we were and of the place where we were heading.  I’m so glad we had that time to help Mom let go and to say goodbye.  But I am currently thinking back on those times and mixing that purposeful sense of gratitude with memories about how wrong, how horrible really, it is to watch your mother die.

I think back, and my heart constricts as I remember seeing sign after sign that her body was failing and that she was irrevocably slipping away from her vibrant living self.

I remember times in July that I just knew that things were really not right, and I so desperately wanted to find a way to fix them.  Why didn’t Mom want me to buy her a new, lighter purse.  I couldn’t know at the time it was because she was never going to leave the house again on her own.

I think of Mom lying on her hospital bed and seeing the bag that held her urine turn darker and darker as her kidneys shut down.  At the time, I tried to just enjoy having her near me and being in her presence.  But now I think back on that image, and my soul shouts, “NO!”  My mom’s kidneys are NOT supposed to shut down.  That means that all the toxins are staying in her body and destroying her brain and meaning that she can never, never come back to us and be herself again.

…

Those last weeks had a whole lot of goodness to them.  But this month, as I continue to get used to the idea that Mom the person is gone, I’m also thinking back and working to come to terms with the hard parts of letting her go.

The up-side is that I still feel her all around me all the time.

Those are my thoughts for now.
~Althea

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23 weeks – From a bump to a belly

Oct. 18: This is such a lovely time in pregnancy.  I think I’d be happy being this pregnant as a general state of being in life.  I can feel the little one rolling and kicking and moving around, but the motions are generally soft and fluttery.  She’s feeling less like a pingpong ball in her movements this week.  Her movements seems to be slowing down a little.  Maybe she’s finding that she’s running out of room.  Hard to believe that she’s over a pound now:)
My belly has rounded out in the last week or two.  I no longer fit into any of my pre-pregnancy pants, and especially now that I’m wearing maternity shirts, I’ve had several people on the street comment on my pregnancy.  It’s a surprising time to have my pregnancy go from a secret I tell people to a fact that anyone I meet can know.
Sleep has been good these days, and I haven’t been particularly tired during the day.  Plus I can still usually eat big meals, which I enjoy.  I’ve gained about 10 pounds since July, but I lost around 8 pounds in May and June (early pregnancy loss of appetite), so while I’m feeling bigger, I’m not yet feeling heavy.  But that’s coming!
I bought the cutest little shoes at a wonderful store in St. Paul called Peapod.  They make me so very happy.  That’s the news for now!

23 Week Update from Babycenter.com

Your baby is more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound. His skin is red and wrinkled. Blood vessels in his lungs are developing to prepare him for breathing. He can swallow, but he normally won’t pass his first stool (called meconium) until after birth. Loud noises heard often in utero — such as your dog barking or the roar of a vacuum cleaner — probably won’t faze your baby when he hears them outside the womb.

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Big news…Michael and Lisa are engaged!!

michaelandlisa.jpgOct. 7: I’m excited to share the news that Michael and Lisa have decided to get engaged.  Lisa just posted the news on her blog.  Michael stopped by to share the news earlier this week.  He and Lisa have been dating for (I think) about four years.  Michael said that they are looking at a fall 2009 wedding.
Lisa, Michael, and their roommate, Alice, co-own a home together in Fitchburg.  For those of you who don’t know, Michael is a computer guy at Excel Inns, and Lisa works for American Family Insurance.
We’re really excited and happy for the two of them.

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Feeling fulfilled after a visit with Granny Lu and Grandad

lionboy.jpgOct. 7: It’s Sunday night, and Bryan and I are relaxing after a great weekend with Granny Lu and Grandad.  Photos of the weekend are in the gallery.  Bryan’s mom came into town on Wednesday.  I took the afternoon off, and the two of us had a fun time visiting and doing some shopping for the little baby-on-the-way.  She stayed home with Andrew on Thursday and Friday.  Bryan’s dad was giving a speech in Minneapolis at the Certified Commercial Investment Members real estate symposium, and he drove down to Madison on Friday.  We all enjoyed a lovely time together.  I started working on a sweater for Andrew, and everyone else watched Andrew enough to let me make the whole back of the sweater over the weekend.
Our times together are pretty low-key.  We went to the zoo and to playgrounds, but in general, we stuck pretty close to home, just enjoying each other’s company.

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Busy times

threeguys.jpgOct. 7: It feels like our schedule has been really full these last weeks.  Pictures are in the gallery.
Last weekend (Sept. 28-30), I was in Northfield and St. Paul for a Carleton Alumni Council meeting.  It was so wonderful to be back on campus.  I really love Carleton.  I find just being in the liberal arts environment to be very invigorating.  Bryan and Andrew had a nice time here at home.  They got out of the house a lot.  At one point, I got a text message from Bryan (we now have cell phones:) with an urgent question, “Been at library for 2hrs.  How do I get him to leave??”
Andrew does indeed love spending time at the library.  He bounces from reading books to putting puzzles together to playing with the wooden toys to climbing on the furniture to looking at the animal mural, and then he starts the cycle again!
Bryan’s been taking a classical guitar class on Monday nights, so I’ve been inviting Terry over for dinner that night.  It’s a fun chance to see him and to have company/extra help with Andrew on what otherwise would be a quiet evening.

We’re going to be heading back to Northfield for the Carleton Alumni Adventures committee meeting.  Bryan and Andrew are going to hang out on campus while I’m in meetings.  I’m sure they’ll enjoy some Hogan Bros. hoagies.  I’m hoping that we have the chance to pick apples at Fireside orchard.  And then we’re planning to spend some time with Maretta (and maybe Kyle) in St. Paul.  Assuming that Andrew handles the drive alright, it should be a fun time:)

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Week 22 – we’re falling in love

Oct. 7: Time keeps going by.  I haven’t been on the computer much in the last week, and when I logged on this evening, I was shocked to see that I’ve reached the 22 week mark.  The illustration for this week is a little weird looking.  I know that the baby has very little fat, but this one looks a whole lot like ET:)
I had some fun recently looking at the posts that I had done during my pregnancy with Andrew.  They’re available at the very start of my blog or right here.  So far, this pregnancy has been really, really easy.  I’m feeling the baby moving a lot of the time, and I’m feeling very loving toward her.  I love anticipating that the little person who is growing inside of me could grow to become one of my favorite people in the whole wide world.  Pictures of the ultrasound and some exciting new baby clothes are in the gallery.

Here’s the 22 week update from BabyCenter.com

How your baby’s growing:

Your baby now looks like a miniature newborn, checking in at 10.9 inches and almost 1 pound. Her skin will continue to appear wrinkled until she gains enough weight to fill it out, and the fine hair (lanugo) that covers her head and body is now visible. Her lips are becoming more distinct, and the first signs of teeth are appearing as buds beneath her gum line. Her eyes are developed, though the iris (the colored part of the eye) still lacks pigment. Eyelids and eyebrows are in place, and her pancreas, essential for hormone production, is developing steadily.