A bit of fussiness

cryinginthebathroom.JPGApril 7:  I started this post a week ago, but I must have been inturrupted by a fussy baby!

Sylvia is a lot like her brother.  I don’t know what babies are like in general, but the two that I’ve been lucky enough to raise are pretty similar.  And they both have had kind of a rough time around the 5-8 week time period.  Looking back at home videos and pictures, I remember that Andrew spent a lot of time crying about this time.  I don’t think either one is a particular fussy baby.  Just normal.  And mixed in with some unhappy times are so many sweet smiles (and Sylvia has dimples to boot!).  She’s getting increasingly aware of the world, and I think she wants to explore it constantly. Just know that if you call between 5/5:30 and whenever she falls asleep (sometimes 8:30, sometimes 10), she may well be crying!

Advice about this time:

Most babies have at least one fussy spell per day. Normal newborn fussiness begins at about one to three weeks of age, peaks at about six  to eight weeks, and is gone by about three to four months. That daily spell usually lasts around two to four hours. During this time, your baby may want to breastfeed very frequently. We call this a cluster feeding.

Your baby may also want to be held without being put down and may seem generally unhappy no matter what you do. Don’t let it bother you. This normal fussiness isn’t a sign that anything is wrong with your milk, the baby or the way you are mothering. A lot of research has been done to learn why babies fuss at times, and theories abound. Yet no one seems to have a clear reason why this occurs. We just know that most babies do it and thrive anyway. It’s probably just a normal developmental stage of the infant.

http://parenting.ivillage.com/newborn/nbreastfeed/0,,8znwfldp-1,00.html

An Andrew update

dancing.JPGMarch 30: Andrew is constantly doing and saying things that melt my heart or just make me shake my head in wonder.  I try to file away in my mind a list of things that he’s doing.  I think the time has come to write them up!  What follows is a snapshot of some of the things going on in sweet, little Andrew’s life right now.

  • We’ve been working on potty training quite a bit this last week.  We’ve started him on pull-ups, and he’s using the potty several times a day.  He is so sweet about the whole endeavor.  When we check and find that his pull-ups are wet, he sticks out his bottom lip and often says quietly, “I’m sad.”  He’s got such a sensitive little heart.  Just like his mom and his dad:)
  • Andrew is also showing some interest in dressing himself.  He still prefers for me to change him on the changing table.  But in the last few weeks, he’s gotten interested in putting on his own shirt and pants.  Grace taught him some good techniques when she was here.  The other day during rest time, he had to be rescued once because he somehow got the neck hole of a t-shirt around his waist!
  • We recently got Andrew some new yellow rain boots.  We got them at the Monona Bootery near our house.  We were driving by, and Andrew said, “Mommy, can we stop at the bootery?”  I had to say yes:)  It’s the same store that Mom used to take me for shoes when I was little. Andrew has a blast playing on the same horsey merry-go-round that I played on as a girl.
  • Andrew often says, “Let’s talk about it.” in his adorable, lilting voice.  When Bryan or I are at odds with him, that’s what we say in order to head off a tantrum or a fit of whining.  When something worries Andrew, or if he’s thinking back on a serious talk we’ve had, he’ll want to discuss.  It’s too cute.
  • A couple times in the (relatively distant) past, I’ve brought up Andrew’s indiscretions to Bryan at the end of the day.  These days, if I chastise Andrew for something, he says in an earnest voice, “We’ll have to tell Daddy about this when he gets home.”
  • Andrew continues to be just incredibly loving toward his sister.  He comes to say goodnight to her several times.  He snuggles up to her in my bed in the morning and cuddles for quite a while.  He often remarks on her beautiful eyes and her sweet face.  The other day, he was searching for the right word to describe her.  “She’s just a …a …a yiddle princess,” he said.  He calls her “Sylvie-ba-dilvie” on a regular basis.  Sometimes he lengthens it out to Sylvie-ba-dilvie-ga-dilvie”
  • Andrew is pretty into holding hands these days.  And telling me (and others too) that I’m (or they are) his “best buddy.”  He also says, “So…….that was fun!” after doing almost anything he enjoyed.
  • I’ve had to put Andrew under my arm and carry him off kicking and screaming twice in the last week.  And both times I was also carrying Sylvia.  Both times we were trying to leave a fun place, and both times, he thought he would try to extend his time there by running away from me.  I really wanted to impress upon him that running away from me is just completely not acceptable.  Poor little guy was so upset.  I hate to make him cry.  I also really don’t like telling him to stop and having him turn and run away faster!  Parenting isn’t always easy on the heart.
  • OK, it’s 11:30pm, and it is totally ridiculous that I am on the computer instead of in bed.  My sanity tomorrow may be in jeopardy tomorrow due to this post.  Good night!

Six months

March 30: Tomorrow, March 31, is the six-month anniversary of Mom’s departure.  A week from Monday is Mom’s 56th birthday.  It’s just weird.  I sometimes find myself thinking of calling Mom when I’m bored or when something neat happens or when I need her advice.  It’s like my brain just can’t remember that she’s not here.  On the other hand, I have found myself becoming more accustomed to not counting her when doing a head-count for family events, and that feels sort of bad too.  I really don’t think that I want to get too accustomed to her not being here, because then it’s like I’m OK with her being gone.  And I’m really not OK with it one little bit.

My new job

meandsylvie.JPGMarch 25: I’m typing with a sleeping (at the moment) baby slung across my lap. As is her want, she fell asleep nursing, and I should not move her if I want her to continue to sleep.  Andrew is taking a nap today (thank heavens…I think it’s his first one in the last seven days!!).  So I can sit amidst the silence for a moment and just be still.
Today is the first day that I am home solo all day with both kids.  Since my maternity leave has no end (I’m not going back to work at Gathering Waters), I kind of feel like today is the first day of my new job as full-time mom.  It’s been wonderful and amazing to have had help for the first six weeks of little Sylvia’s life.  Bryan, his mom, Grace, and my siblings have been such a huge help.  This on-our-own-ness is coming at a good time.  Sylvia wakes about three times in the night to eat…meaning that I’m only awake for an hour or so cumulatively.  I’d love 8 uninterrupted hours, but our current system is working pretty well.

And spring is just around the corning (isn’t it?!).  The sandhill cranes and red wing black birds are back. The chickadees and cardinals are singing their spring songs.  I’m really looking forward to all the outdoor activities I can do with the kids and with my friends this spring, summer, and fall.
This morning I pushed Andrew down to the library in his stroller.  It feels good to get out and stretch my legs!  (When we got out of the library, we discovered that the stroller had a flat tire, so Andrew got to walk home and stretch his legs as well.  We stopped at every puddle to hop in.)
How very lucky I am to have two marvelous kids to spend my days with and such wonderful friends to play with as well.  Cheers to the future!
Oh, and Happy Birthday to Joey today.  He’s 20!

Easter time, fun times

dadandsylvie.JPGMarch 23: Happy Easter!  Sylvia and I are home from our Easter lunch at Terry’s.  Bryan and Andrew are driving Maretta up to Columbus so she can catch the train back to St. Paul.  At the same time, Becky is driving Joe to Milwaukee so he can fly back to Maine.  It’s been just wonderful having Maretta and Joe home these last weeks.  I’m sad to see them go.  And really, it’s not just because they are wonderful at helping to watch my kids!  I think they each got lots accomplished.  Maretta and I had several good meetings to finalize details for her wedding.  I’m really looking forward to it!  It’s two months from tomorrow!
This morning, Andrew woke up to find a good collection of stuffed Easter creatures laid out.  I dressed Sylvia up like an adorable Easter egg, and we took a big ham, some mashed potatoes, and the dessert left-overs from several recent get-togethers we’ve had to Terry’s.  Lisa provided vegetables and a very yummy vegetable quiche, and Becky brought a coconut cream pie.  mmmm  My aunt Julie and uncle Kevin drove up from Monroe (where they have been working hard to get Grandma and Grandpa’s house ready to sell and divide up the estate), and so we had a full table for our Easter lunch.  Andrew and Becky dyed easter eggs, and we all had a nice time.
Pictures of our Easter festivities are in the gallery.

It’s still really weird to not have Mom here.  The other day, someone came walking in the door, and I really thought it was her.  I even turned to her to say something before I remembered.  Ahh, the good old slug to the stomach.  I don’t know if I feel like she’s close by or gone all together or if she visits sometimes or even if there’s anything left other than the love and the memories we have for her.  But I do know that when we’re all together it makes me really happy.  It makes her absence that much more obvious, but it also means that the people know knew and love her best are all together, and somehow that makes her feel closer.
We were driving home from a get-together in Monroe late last night.  The moon was full, and just lovely.  The fields stretched out; covered in a glistening blanket of white snow that glowed with the moon’s light.  Sylvia was asleep, and Andrew and I were holding hands, singing songs together.  For me, things just felt right.  I can’t believe I’ve been entrusted with the care of Andrew and Sylvia. They are both so wonderful.  And I know that Mom felt the same way about me and my brothers and sister.  Mom poured so much of her love and herself into our family that it is seeping its way into Andrew and Sylvia.  It’ll continue to grow and spread, even though she’s not here to do it herself.
“Love grows love” seems like a very appropriate epitaph for my mom.

White noise

almostsmile.JPGMarch 23: Sylvia loves white noise.  She calms down right away when the vacuum cleaner or the oven fan are running, and her little soul rejoices at the sound of the tub filling with water.  During her fussier times (evenings are often a hard time for a little one), Bryan or I often stand with her in front of the oven’s exhaust fan, jiggling and bouncing to keep her happy.  It’s amazing to feel her little body relax; almost as if the loud, static-y noise is a balm for her over-stimulated systems.
I can see myself as an old woman, taking a crying baby into the kitchen and turning on a fan.  “This always worked like a charm for my little ones,” I’ll explain.
Sylvia seems pretty attuned to noises.  A dropped toy or a banging door consistenty make her startle.  And she’s getting to the point where when she’s crying and sad, she’ll sometimes work her way to a state of calm if I talk to her in a low, soothing voice.  How amazing it must be to be a little baby and have so much to work at and discover each day!
I just added some new pictures to the March 9-15 album and the March 16-22 album.

Snow?!

suit.JPGMarch 21: In a continued effort to reach the 100 inches of snow mark this year, we’ve got loads of the white stuff falling from the sky.  Enough!  To get a much-needed dose of spring, Maretta, Andrew, Sylvia, and I headed to Olbrich this morning.  They have their spring bulb show going on right now, so we enjoyed smelling the brightly colored flowers for a bit.  Then we trekked across town to look at the proofs for some engagement pictures that Maretta and Kyle had taken the other day.
Maretta watched Andrew in the afternoon while Sylvia and I ventured out to Woodman’s for a much-needed grocery run.  She cried the entire time.  Her cry is still so newborn-sounding, that I got lots of sympathetic looks from all the other shoppers.  Maretta and I went shopping last night and found Maretta some great-looking dresses for her to wear to weddings this summer.  I also got Andrew a sweater vest and shirt and tie for him to wear to Maretta’s wedding in May.  We also met with Nakoma Country Club to go over all the final reception details, and I’m feeling really excited about how beautiful it will all look.
Andrew helped us make his first-ever batch of Rice Krispy treats. MMmmmm

Photos from the last several days are in the gallery
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So many things to write about…so little time!

withbunny.JPGMarch 20: My mental list of things to write about has been growing and growing these last days. It’s 10 days since my last fun post, and I’ve started keeping a little slip of paper with reminders to myself about things I wanted to share.  It seems though that I barely turn on the computer before Andrew needs something or Sylvia isn’t cool with the idea of me trying to hold her and type simultaneously.  My siblings are all in town this week, and we’ve been doing fun things.
Maretta and I have been doing wedding planning.  We took Joe shopping for a new suit.  We celebrated Michael’s birthday yesterday.  There’s good stuff going on!  And in the evenings, I am totally out of energy for anything.  Oh, my poor neglected pile of thank-you cards!
I’m continuing to take lots of pictures, and there are some good ones from last week in the gallery.
Andrew is doing wonderfully as a big brother, we’re getting out for walks now that our road is not a solid ice field, and Sylvia is consistently doing at least one 3 hour stretch of sleep at night.
When I started this note, Andrew was in his room for his rest time, and Sylvia was asleep.  Now Andrew is taking apart a box of printer cartridges, and Sylvia is nursing as I try to type.  If I don’t catch the phone when you call or am long in replying to your emails, just know it’s because my hands are full.  Fully of fun, very active little ones!
Happy first day of spring!

Grandma’s obituary

grandma2.JPGMarch 14: Aunt Julie and Dad (and others!) have been hard at work planning Grandma’s funeral so it can be a good celebration of her life.  My cousin Max is putting together a slide show, and I went through my digital photos to look for some images to share.  These pictures are now in my gallery.
Grandma’s obituary follows below…

MONROE – Lucille Evelyn Babler, 86 (less 7 hours), died peacefully on March 10, 2008, at the Monroe Manor Nursing Home, Monroe, Wisconsin. She became a resident there in mid-December while she recovered from hip-replacement surgery. In late February while still recovering, she was unexpectedly diagnosed with stomach cancer and became a patient of Hospice.

Lucille was born on March 11, 1922, in Deaconess Hospital in Monroe, Wisconsin, to Herman and Helen (nee Kelly) Krueger. She attended Countryside elementary school until the third grade, St. Victor’s from third through eighth grade, and graduated from Monroe High School in 1940. Lucille was married to Myron Jacob Babler, also of Monroe. She has four children, seven grandchildren, and nine great grandchildren.

As a child, Lucille wanted to be a ballerina. While she didn’t realize that dream, her life became a dance that expressed a profound story—filled with serious challenges, moments of great joy, and many personal achievements. Her husband, her family, her friends, and her church provided the music to which she danced. She quietly wove a wonderful life story, and her ability to meet life’s challenges was a testament to her strength and character.

When she was eight years old, her mother contracted tuberculosis, which eventually institutionalized her. This occurred during the Depression era, and she and her four younger siblings were too much for her farm-worker father to handle alone. As was common at the time, relatives helped to raise the children.

Blanche and Henry Rinehardt of Monroe asked Lucille to live with them. Henry was a carpenter, and they lived on a small rural farm on Smock Valley Road with one cow for milk and hand-churned butter and chickens for eggs and meat. Their home was lit by kerosene lamps and heated by a wood-burning furnace. Water came from a hand-pumped well, cooking was by wood stove, and the bathroom was the outhouse. The radio ran on an old car battery and was always tuned to WLS for the “Barn Dance” on Saturday nights. The Rinehardts treated Lucille as their daughter, were good to her, and protected her. Their daughter, Celeste, became her lifelong friend, and when Celeste married, Lucille was in high school and lived with her.

Rinehardt’s farm was located about a mile from Monroe, and Lucille walked to St. Victor’s school most every school day. On the weekends she loved to go to movies or roller-skating with her Aunt Mert and friends Charlene and Gen, and she often stayed with her Grandma Kelly overnight. If they didn’t have enough money to continue skating on Sunday, they’d watch from the balcony.

Lucille visited her mother Helen at Pinehurst Sanitarium in Janesville until her mother’s death in 1940. They sat in a room with the windows opened and couldn’t hug or touch each other. Helen did her best to advise her, but the situation was hard for both of them.

Helen was spiritual and wanted Lucille to be brought up in the faith, so Blanche was ultimately responsible for Lucille’s lifelong association with St. Victor’s Catholic Church. Lucille was baptized, received confirmation, and was married there. She loved St. Victor’s, went to church nearly every day after her children were grown, and volunteered in many ways.

Lucille met the love of her life in April 1941 when Helen Rinehardt asked her to go see a band with her and her husband Harlan, plus their friend Myron (“Mike”). Lucille had admired Mike from a distance while he worked as an usher at the Goetz Theater. Mike wasn’t pleased to have this extra girl coming along, but by the end of the evening he had changed his mind and immediately began dating her. They quickly fell in love. Unable to wait for Christmas, he proposed marriage to her hours before Pearl Harbor was attacked on December 7, 1941. They were married on April 18, 1942—one year to the day after meeting.

For a short time after the wedding, they lived in Joliet, Illinois, where Mike worked at the war plant. In July 1942, Mike was drafted into the Army. She got to see him three times while he was in training: during Christmas 1942 when he came home (surviving a train derailment during the journey), in the spring of 1943 in Palacois, Texas (where they stayed in a cabin with hundreds of cockroaches), and in early fall when he came to Monroe on a three-day pass.

On Thanksgiving Day 1943, Mike called to ask her to meet him in New York City. She went and after three days of waiting for him, she received a heavily censored note saying he was quarantined on a ship. She had to leave. He shipped out to the European Theatre, and she left for Monroe.

During the war Lucille stayed with Mike’s parents, Emma and Jacob Babler, in their apartment near the square in Monroe. Emma treated her like a daughter. Lucille held a job with Lakeshire-Marty wrapping butter, and another working at the AAA office. She went to almost every movie and reconnected with her sister Naomi. They served as each other’s bridesmaids, and their friendship continued to grow.

After more than three years in the service and earning three purple hearts, Mike returned. At last they could build a life together. They moved into their own home in 1949, where they spent the rest of their lives raising their family of four and enjoying each other’s company. In April 2007, they celebrated their 65th anniversary.

Lucille’s children and grandchildren will remember her for her love of home and family; thoughtful, loving personality; quiet strength; great laugh (and their desire to make her laugh); ability to truly listen; famous seasonal sugar cookies; hand-decorated birthday cakes; annual handmade Christmas ornaments; sewing, knitting, and needlework; flower and vegetable gardens; her love of ginkgo trees and nature, animals and bird watching; James Herriot books and reading; an immaculately kept house; Saturday night root beer floats; her love of Perry Como, Willie Nelson, and John Denver; doing jigsaw puzzles; watching Johnny Carson; her need to “sleep on it” when it came to decision making and processing change; her rock-solid stability; her tireless work at St. Victor’s counting the collections, arranging flowers, washing linens, and helping at school; her years as a Girl Scout troop leader; her thousands of hours of work with the Apostolate to the Handicapped, including helping with mailings, office work, and events; and her appreciation of the basic joys of life.

Lucille is survived by her four children: Kim Babler of Madison; Gary Babler of Stoughton; Scott (Marcia) Babler of Libertyville, Illinois; and Julie (Kevin) of California. She is also survived by her sisters, Naomi (Oliver) Miller of Brodhead and Helen Kundert of South Prairie, Washington; seven grandchildren; and nine great grandchildren.

She was preceded in death by her husband Myron on October 30, 2007; her parents, Herman and Helen Krueger; two brothers, Max and Virgil; and her daughter-in-law Margot (nee Davis) Babler on August 31, 2007.

A visitation will take place on Sunday, March 16, at Newcomer Funeral Home, 1329 31st Avenue, Monroe, from 5–7 p.m., with a prayer service at 7 p.m. The family also invites you to a funeral to celebrate her life on Monday, March 17, at 10:45 a.m. at St. Victor’s Catholic Church, 1760 14th Street, Monroe. Memorials may be made to the Diocese of Madison Apostolate to the Handicapped, 515 22nd Avenue, Box 443, Monroe, WI 53566-0443, 608-324-1000. An online obituary and guest book are available at www.newcomerfuneralhome.net.