Sept. 15: I’ve had quite a few people ask what Maretta and Joe are doing at this point, so here’s a quick update.
Maretta and Kyle drove back up to St. Paul on Sunday, September 9. Maretta had gone up for a couple days last week to get settled, buy books, and attend the first day of classes. After returning to her apartment at St. Kate’s on Sunday, Maretta spent a couple days lying low, and she started going to classes on Wednesday. Although she didn’t try out for the fall plays, one of the directors approached her earlier this week and offered her a part in a three-person show this fall. So even though she had been thinking about taking a bit of a slower semester, it looks like she’ll be working full throttle for the next month. I’m glad because she’ll be doing things that she loves. Maretta is a senior majoring in theater.
Joe flew back to Bowdoin College in Brunswick, Maine on Thursday, September 13. He’s planning on starting classes on Monday. He’s going to take a couple classes this fall, work, and play his English horn in a quartet. I imagine he’s going to have his work cut out for him the first few weeks since classes at Bowdoin started on August 30. Joe’s a sophomore this year and is planning on majoring in philosophy.
While Joe was home over the last couple weeks, he’s been staying with Michael, and Michael took off work Monday-Wednesday this week to recuperate and to spend time with Joe. I believe that Michael went back to work on Thursday at Excel Inns where he works as a computer guru.
I stopped in work at Gathering Waters Conservancy briefly on Tuesday and Wednesday, but other than that, I took off the whole week to recover and to spend time with Bryan since he was having his week off between jobs. After nearly four weeks of time off work, I’ll be back at work on my normal schedule starting on Monday.
I think for all of us, it was good to take off some time after the trials and events of the last few weeks.
In talking with Maretta the other day, we noted that we’re all learning to incorporate a deep sadness into our lives now. It’s a lot different than what we’ve been dealing with the last couple years. A sense of loss and a gaping hole has replaced a previous constant sense of anxiety or alertness. I am glad to not have to continue to worry about the results of the next test. When would bad news come? How would it come?
The last month was much more serious…how much pain was Mom in? Was she acting normally, or not? If she wasn’t acting normal, what did that mean?
So, bizarrely, I find myself experiencing a sense of relief on some level. I can still carry with me a constant, very low-grade worry that some accident will befall someone I love, but I don’t have that same sense of potential impending doom. Now that the worst has happened and we no longer have our Mom here with us in our lives, we instead need to work through our grief and learn how to make our lives OK with this new, undesired reality.
If anyone wants to drop Maretta or Joe a note, here are their addresses:
Maretta Babler
College of St. Catherine
#145
2004 Randolph Ave.
St. Paul, MN 55105
Joe Babler
Bowdoin College
33 Smith Union Hall
Brunswick, ME 04011-8400