Sept. 1: 3:30 am. It’s the middle of the night, and I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to get up to make some edits to Mom’s obituary. During our pizza get-together at Terry’s last night, he interviewed most of the attendees and from those conversations crafted a really beautiful and personal tribute for Mom.
We’re hoping to have it run in Sunday’s paper, which means we need to submit it by noon on Saturday. Thought you might like to see our work-in-progress.
The picture is from Andrew’s second birthday party on June 22. Mom was already getting sick again, but we didn’t know it yet. In this picture, Andrew is sitting on her lap opening some engineer overalls. It’s just so hard to believe that around 70 days ago, Mom was so vibrant and so fully present in our lives. It’s been a hard couple of months.
MADISON – Margot Babler, 55, a woman of exceptional warmth and wisdom, died peacefully on August 31, 2007. She spent the final three days of her life at the wonderful HospiceCare center in Madison, surrounded by friends and family, the culmination of a 27-month battle with pancreatic cancer.
Margot was born on April 7, 1952 in Beloit, Wisconsin to Joseph L. and Lorraine (nee Bergmann) Davis. She is the granddaughter of Ward and Elsie (nee Leedle) Davis and Henry and Tekla (nee Loeber) Bergmann. She was a 1970 graduate of Ashland High School, and she attended UW Whitewater from 1970-1972. On August 12, 1972, she married Kim M. Babler.
She has lived in Madison since 1977. Margot was kind, selfless, positive, honest, subtle, with a wonderful sense of humor and an ability to laugh at herself. She was optimistic and non-judgmental, accepting human frailties with humor and love. She had an unusually even temperament, and she was called upon by many for her qualities of judgment. She gave freely to others without expecting anything in return, and she had a unique way of enriching and bettering the lives of everyone who crossed her path.
Margot had an especially strong love of family. If her children needed anything, she was there to help. Many times, she knew what one of them needed before they did, and she had the uncanny ability to make her children call her on the phone. She taught her children the importance of respect and of cultivating long-term relationships, of independence and high self-esteem. She was the most wonderful person in the world to hug: she knew the power of a hug, and she would hug you as long as you needed. She gave one of the most important pieces of advice a mother can give: “Eat something, you’ll feel better.” To far more than her immediate family, she was “mommy.” She created a world in which a large extended group of friends became a real part of her family.
Several aspects of Margot’s character and life were truly extraordinary. She was an arts lover and a romantic who valued beauty for the sake of beauty (and not to impress); yet she always gave very rationally grounded, rock-solid advice to others. She had an intuitive and accurate sense of the right course of action in any situation. To her family and friends, it felt as if she always had the right answer to every question: she understood. Yet she also knew that sometimes the best course is to just sit with another person, not talking. She had unusually good taste and a sense of refinement, particularly in aesthetics and cuisine. Indeed she was both a wonderful decorator and cook, in the latter role not afraid to use butter andcream. Her dishes were made with love, and people across the countryare using her recipes. Margot had a rare innate ability to connect with all people on some level and to befriend everyone. Her abilities to know what others were thinking seemed psychic.
Margot was not perfect: she was an untidy housekeeper, disorganized and dependably late. She always fell asleep during the first act of operas and plays. But on the things which really count in life, she was right there, right on target.
Margot is survived by her husband Kim and four very special +children: Althea (Bryan) Dotzour, Michael, Maretta (fiance Kyle Zilic),
and Joseph all of Madison; her grandson Andrew Dotzour; her mother Lorraine Davis of Janesville; three siblings, Peter J. (Marcia) Davis of Iowa, Kate (Greg) Brand of Washington and Kirk J. (Susan) Davis of Texas; aunts and uncles John Bergmann, Mildred Klumb, Carol Lamm and Edgar Bergmann; and friends who are as close as family including Terry Haller, Thomas Kuczmarski and Jack Kussmaul. She was preceded in death by her father Joe on May 14, 1973.
A visitation will take place on Thursday, September 6, 2007 at Bethel Lutheran Church, 312 Wisconsin Ave. from 4:30 – 6:00 p.m. with a prayer service at 6:00 p.m. with Reverend Bill White officiating.
A second visitation will be held at St. Peter’s Catholic Church, 5001 N. Sherman Ave. on Friday, September 7, 2007 from 9:00 – 10:00 a.m.
The family also invites you to a funeral to honor Margot’s life well-lived on Friday, September 7, 2007 at St. Peter’s Catholic Church, 5001 N. Sherman Ave., at 10:00 a.m. with Father Roger Nilles officiating.
A memorial fund has been set up in Margot’s name at Olbrich Gardens. For friends near and far, please visit margots-forget-me-nots.com to share your remembrances, photos, and recipes.