Aug. 28: 1:30 pm. I had a very nice, quiet morning with Mom. I came in to the Hospice Center at about 8:15 this morning. Dad had left just a few minutes before with Michael. From the notes Dad left, it looks like Mom had a relatively restful night, punctuated by a few episodes of anxiety or restlessness. When I arrived, she was sleeping peacefully. I opened the windows and the doors and let the sunlight and morning breeze spill into the room. I sat on the bed with Mom and told her about the beautiful morning. I curled up with her and talked to her and sang her songs she likes. She hasn’t eaten or drank anything as far as I can tell for the last 24 hours, and she didn’t respond at all to me, but it felt really nice to be able to hold her and stroke her hair and to tell her how I feel and that she can go when she’s ready.
A bit later in the morning, Mom’s brother Peter, and his wife Marci came by to visit. They were followed by Michael and Terry. I got on Mom’s gmail account to get emails that I can read to her. Then Terry and Michael and I sat out on the beautiful private patio outside Mom’s room.
A doctor came in to check out Mom, but she wasn’t interested in being touched, so he just made sure she wasn’t wanting medication or anything and then we talked for a while. He said that one thing that is probably happening to Mom is that her liver is breaking down from the cancer. That means that her body isn’t able to filter the toxins from her blood system, and she’s getting a buildup of ammonia and other non-healthy chemicals in her body. The physical effects of this match what Mom is experiencing…exhaustion/fatigue, irritability to communicate, anxiety, etc.
Apart from a couple startling moments when she got up to go to the bathroom, Mom’s been resting pretty quietly today. She hasn’t wanted, but we have been encouraging occasional use of an anti-anxiety medication, but her alertness and responsiveness doesn’t change at all even when she is off all medications.