Feb. 26: You know, as I typed the title of this post, I realized that I was applying a parenting technique of my mom’s. She made a point of not using the word “bad” in regards to us…even in regards to our behavior. Instead, she would say “not good” or “not appropriate” or some such phrase. The idea is to focus on what you want (good or appropriate behavior) as opposed to pointing out the negative.
Anyway, there’s some negative to report from Grandma’s meeting with the oncologist today. Turns out that her stomach cancer has pretty much blocked her lower stomach, so food isn’t able to make it’s way to her intestines. She was hospitalized again on Sunday. The oncologist said that her tumor isn’t operable, even if she was much younger and more robust, and chemo or radiation would not be effective.
So now, quite suddenly, Grandma is looking at an end-of-life situation. Dad and Aunt Julie are trying to decide whether to move her home with 24 hour nursing care or to move her to the Hospice center in Madison.
When I think of my grandma, I think of a quiet, loving woman who tries to live her life as responsibly as possible. Her religious devotion is deep and really rather impressive. I love making Grandma smile. Best of all is making Grandma laugh. That really makes me feel good partly because it isn’t too easy. The fact that I’ve gotten her laughing hard a couple times is one of my big accomplishments in life:) I love Grandma’s cooking. Her meals are the staple of our holidays, and I fully associate the taste of her cooking with family and love.
My grandpa died in October, and it’s hard to believe that we’re looking at the real possibility that in the near future, I won’t have grandparents living in Monroe anymore. And my poor dad will be planning another funeral.
As Terry said after being at his dad’s memorial service in Oregon last weekend, “Between you and me, I’m all deathed out.” Agreed. In the meantime, I am going to think through what kinds of things I can do to brighten Grandma’s days while she’s still here with us.
Althea, Bryan, Andrew, and Sylvia