Nov. 12: I usually post to this website from my living room after having uploaded scores of recent pictures of Andrew. This time, I’m writing from Heather and Michael’s comfy couch in Ann Arbor. I came out to spend the weekend with them…they have such a hard road to travel since they lost Allan at 40 weeks of pregnancy. He was born on Sept. 2, but it feels to me like it was just last week. I just don’t know how a person goes about trying to overcome that kind of a loss. Their love for Allan is a reflection of their grief. And there is so much love. They are both exhibiting amazing strength and fortitude and bravery. Amidst the grief, it feels good to be with them.
While I am here, I am missing my own little guy. I fall asleep trying to decide which way he is lying in his crib, whether he has his pacifier in, or if his legs are akimbo through the crib bars. I imagine his sweet smell, and I see him in my mind toddling down the hall, a mission in his mind. Before going to bed tonight, I had to come look at some pictures of my little guy. This is my third night away, and I miss him. It makes me smile though, to know what a good dad Bryan is and what fun they are having together. I like thinking of my two favorite boys spending the day together. I love them both so much. And now, good night:)