Author: althea

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Weekend in Austin

brookfield.jpgOct. 28: I just got back home from a wonderful weekend in Austin with some of my good friends from graduate school.  Kathy, Jennifer, Lara, Grace, and I met in Austin (approximately equidistant from our homes in Washington DC, California, and Wisconsin) on Friday.  We ate lots of good food, enjoyed exploring some of the great places that Austin has to offer, and generally relaxed and enjoyed spending time with good friends.  Pictures of our weekend are in the gallery.  Many thanks to Bryan for encouraging me to go and for taking such good care of Andrew while I was off having fun!

We started our weekend on Friday.  The five of us met at the airport and headed for a late lunch at Cheuy’s on Barton Springs Road.  From there, we drove around Zilker Park and had a really nice walk around the Zilker Botanical Gardens.  I especially liked the oriental garden section with all the beautiful water features.  We headed up to our hotel up at the arboretum where we found ourselves all changed (mostly unintentionally) into black shirts and jeans before heading out to dinner.  Our plan was to eat at Guero’s Taco Bar on South Congress, but there was a two-hour wait (it was the weekend of the Nebraska/Texas football game).  After realizing that none of us were really all that hungry, we decided to have ice cream instead of dinner.  MMMmmm Amy’s ice cream!  We all went to the flagship Whole Foods Market in downtown Austin where we were amazed and overwhelmed by the array of products and food they had to offer.  Fortified with water and snacks, we drove up to Highland Mall where we waited for a long time to scare ourselves silly at the House of Torment.  Kathy was the bravest amongst us.  She went first, then me, then Jennifer, Grace, and Lara.  I was scared silly most of the way.  In fact, there’s no way I would have made it through had I not had Kathy and Jennifer to hang on to.  It was the first haunted house I’ve been through in a loooong time, and it was a lot of fun.  My throat hurt from screaming:)

On Saturday, we started the day by going out to breakfast at Magnolia Cafe on Lake Austin Blvd.  Then we spent several hours shopping near the Whole Foods store, exploring a book store, some artsy boutiques, and found some good tunes to buy at Waterloo Records.  Needing a break from shopping, we drove back down to Zilker Park and got in our swim suits for a dip in Barton Springs Pool, a spring-fed, natural-bottom, chilly pool.  Kathy, Jennifer, and Lara swam the whole length, and afterwards, we warmed up in the sunny afternoon and had a picnic under the trees.
We spent the late afternoon exploring 6th Street including the historic Driskill Hotel. We all found some earrings to buy at one of the cool shops downtown.  While we had plans to watch the bats emerge from beneath the Congress Street Bridge, we heard that they had mostly already migrated down to Mexico.  So instead we headed out of town to the Salt Lick BBQ.  Our drive through hill country with the sun setting (and then on the way back with a nearly-full moon) was just lovely.  And the dinner was amazing!
After getting a bit lost, we found our way to Mount Barnell, where we could see the river and some of the lights of Austin.  Back at the hotel, we stayed up late talking and looking at Bride’s magazines for Jennifer.

Lara and Jennifer had to leave early on Sunday, so we took them to the airport at 8, then went to breakfast (pumpkin pancakes…mmm) and window shopped before heading back to the airport ourselves.  So that’s our weekend in a nutshell.  It was so fun to fly to a fun city and see good friends.  I really had a great time.  And then it was so lovely to come home to my two boys. Andrew told me that “I’m a little bit sad.  And a little bit happy.”  And now, I’m off to bed!

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25 weeks: She’s getting stronger

Oct. 28: The little baby is getting bigger and stronger.  She’s moving around less frequently, but more strongly.  Sometimes she’ll shift or kick or turn, and I’ll gasp in surprise or slight shock.  Last week I got a wonderful delivery from the UPS man with some additional new clothes for the little one.  Oh, they are SO CUTE!  I plan to take more pictures soon.
This week I’ve started to notice that my stomach capacity is decreasing.  I think that as the baby continues to move north that I’m often running out of room part-way through my plate.  In general, though, I’m still in a really comfortable part of pregnancy.  I love my sweet belly!

BabyCenter.com week 25 update

How your baby’s growing:
Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. His weight — a pound and a half — isn’t much more than an average rutabaga, but he’s beginning to exchange his long, lean look for some baby fat. As he does, his wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and he’ll start to look more and more like a newborn. His hair is probably recognizable now (in color and texture), although both may change after he’s born.

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Tell me a story!

lion.jpgOct. 24: Andrew is so completely consumed with the telling of stories…it’s kind of amazing.  Common refrains are, “Tell me story ’bout ANDREW.” or  “Tell me story ’bout us!” or “Tell story ’bout A BEAR.”  Mid-story, he often asks, “Then who comes??”  He likes it best when some animal shows up mid-story.  For example, I’ll be in the midst of a pretty good story about a little curly-haired boy named Andy who was solving a mystery at the grocery store when Andrew will ask, “Then who comes?”  He’ll ask repeatedly until I say something along the lines of, “Well, then a walrus came around the grocery aisle and said, ‘Hello Andy!'”
That kid is a crack-up.  Photos from the last couple weeks including some great pics of Andrew in his Halloween costume made specially for Andrew by his Granny Lu are in the gallery.

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Teeny tiny baby sister update

bellyweek24.jpgOct. 24: I really like being pregnant.  And this is such a sweet little person whom I’m carrying around.  I’m completely smitten with her.
A couple weeks ago I had my first appointment with my new midwife. When Bryan changed jobs, our insurance changed, so now I will be seeing the UW Midwives.  I’m really excited to be working with midwives.  I’ve heard only good things from the people I know who have had the pleasure of having their assistance.
My next appointment isn’t until 28 weeks.  I normally would be going every four weeks, but I’m supposed to have the fabulous glucose test at 28 weeks, and my midwife said that for a normal second pregnancy she doesn’t feel like it’s really necessary to see patients every four weeks.  So there will be a six-week gap between this set of appointments.  My next appointment and glucose test (to check for diabetes) is scheduled for November 19.

BabyCenter.com Week 24  Update

Your baby’s growing steadily, gaining about a quarter of a pound since last week, when she was just over a pound. Since she’s almost a foot long, that makes a pretty lean figure, but her body is filling out proportionally and she’ll soon put on more baby fat. Your baby’s skin is thin, translucent, and wrinkled, her brain is growing rapidly, and her taste buds are developing. Her lungs are developing “branches” of
the respiratory “tree” and cells that produce surfactant, a substance that helps the air sacs inflate easily.

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Soon to be plugged back in…

Oct. 23: It’s a chilly, sunny, hopefully gorgeous October morning.  Bryan’s been in Kansas for the last four days.  He’s returning home this afternoon.  Andrew and I have had a great time together.  I pulled out the wooden train set from my parent’s basement, and Andrew had an absolute blast playing with it last night and this morning.  Made it very difficult to leave the house in fact.
These days when I pull Andrew out of his crib, he says, “In the big bed.”  So we get back in my bed and cuddle under the covers for a few minutes.  Then Andrew plays with my alarm clock/CD player.  It has the James Gallway CD in it, and Andrew likes saying, “I hear a flute.  I hear a vliolin.”
Terry came over for supper last night, and Andrew dressed up in his lion Halloween costume for him.  Andrew was having a good time putting on the mane and roaring.  Terry would grab the tail, and Andrew would quickly get away.  Such a cutie.
My sweet husband is bringing our laptop home with him, so I’ll look forward to getting re-plugged in in the evenings.  I did some knitting while watching Anne of Green Gables last night, and I found I didn’t miss my late night computer time at all.
Dandy’s funeral was yesterday.  Sounds like it was a very full day, but the times I spoke to Bryan, he sounded up-beat.  I think they did a good job of sending Dandy off.
That’s the update for now!

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Dandy’s Obituary

dandy_obituary.jpgDotzour, G. Gordon, 83, prominent realtor of West Wichita and owner of Dotzour Realtors, died Thursday, October 18, 2007.
Service, 1:00 P.M., Monday, October 22, First Presbyterian Church. Graveside service will follow at 4:00 P.M., Resthaven Cemetery. Viewing, 4:00-9:00 P.M., Saturday, October 20 and 1:00-9:00 P.M., Sunday, October 21, Downing & Lahey Mortuary West.

Gordon Dotzour was born on January 28, 1924 to Grover and Jennie Dotzour. He grew up in Riverside and attended North High School where his father, Grover, was the first principal.
Gordon played on the Redskin 2-man and 4-man State Championship golf team in 1940. Gordon attended Wichita State for a semester where he played clarinet with the Jazz Band. He enlisted in the Army Air Force. After his discharge he finished his BA degree at Stanford and played on the Stanford golf team which won the National Championship that year.

He returned to Kansas and took a job at the bank in Macksville where he met Betty Jo Cotton. They were married in 1947 after a short courtship.
Gordon took a job with Sheaffer Pen Co and then returned to his love of golf as an Assistant Pro at McDonald Park Golf Course working with Tex Consolver and Dean Adkisson. During those years, Gordon, Tex and another Wichita pro, Gene O’Brien, played on the Tourof the PGA.
Gordon then went into the real estate business with Luis and Tony Casado.
Under their tutelage he learned the Real Estate business and opened his own business, Dotzour Realtors, with an office on West Douglas. He later built his offices at 9100 W. Central. While in the Real Estate business Gordon promoted West Wichita. He laid the groundwork for the first bank in West Wichita, the National Bank of Wichita and was one of the first directors. He published The Westerner, a weekly area newspaper, and was on the Wichita Park Board when Pawnee Prairie Golf Course was built. After many years of promoting the area he was often referred to as the “Mayor” of West Wichita.
Gordon and his son, Mark, developed the Gleneagles Addition in west Wichita. Gordon retired in 1982 from business after health problems and returned to playing golf at Rolling Hills and enjoying life with his wife, son and grandchildren.
Survivors, wife, Betty Jo; son and daughter-in-law, Mark and LuAnn of College Station, TX; grandchildren and their spouses, Bryan and Althea Dotzour, Melanie and Ben Davis; great-grandson, Andrew Dotzour.

Memorials established with First Presbyterian Church, 525 N. Broadway, Wichita, KS 67214 and Harry Hynes Memorial Hospice, 313 S. Market, Wichita, KS 67202. Tributes may be sent to the family via www.dlwichita.com.
Published in the Wichita Eagle from 10/20/2007 – 10/22/2007.

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Dandy has left us

Oct. 18: Sad news to report tonight.  We got a call from Bryan’s mom around supper time that Bryan’s grandpa, Dandy, has passed away.  It feels really strange to think that he is gone.  Bryan is flying out to Wichita tomorrow afternoon.  Things feel all off-kilter here.

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Dandy’s health is failing

dandy.jpgOct. 18: I really wish that I wasn’t writing this post.  Bryan’s grandpa, Dandy, moved from the hospital to a Hospice center in Wichita yesterday.  Bryan, his sister, and his parents have plans to meet in Kansas on Friday to spend time with Dandy and with Grandma Jo and to be there to support each other.
Dandy is such a wonderful, generous, full-of-life person, and it’s hard to know that he and Grandma Jo and Bryan’s dad are in a position where they are having to say goodbye.  My heart is with them.  In fact most of my thoughts are with them too.
Bryan’s dad is an only child, and they are all so close.  I feel like it must somehow be harder when there are less people to carry the burdens, to support and remember together.
Dandy was so happy to see and hear about Andrew.  Andy and Dandy he would say.  I would really like to take Andrew down to give Dandy another opportunity to see him, but it seems like this weekend is probably a better time for Bryan to be able to go down and support his dad and grandma as an adult rather than as a parent-trailing-a-toddler.
I feel so very lucky to have married into a family that is filled with such wonderful people.  My world is better (immeasurably so!) because of the family that Dandy helped to raise.

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Andrew is singing

Oct. 18: Andrew spends much of his time singing.  Favorites are The Farmer in the Dell, Old McDonald, and ABCs.  He also loves counting.  Not that he’s accurately identifying how many of anything he sees.  He just likes to say the numbers.  “One, two, three, four, five.”  Counting things on his plate or trees we pass along the road.  Then he counts up to “twenty-teen” just for fun.

This morning, he wanted to get back in his crib and read books while I took a shower.  When I came out, he was looking at one of his books, and singing Old McDonald about the animals on each of the pages.  “Ollld McDonald had an aardvark.  EE II EEE III OOOO.”  “Old McDonald had a monster, with a grrr here and a grrr there…”  That kid is just so fun!

We were in Northfield and St. Paul last weekend for a Carleton alumni committee I serve on and to visit Aunt Maretta and Uncle Kyle.  Andrew and Bryan had a fun time hanging out together, and Andrew just kept turning on the charm.  He’s at such a fun age.

When I brought him his toast for breakfast this morning, I said, “I cut it into four squares for you, Andrew.”  And he replied, “OH Thank you, Mommy. Squares! Oh my gosh!”

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Processing August experiences

Oct. 18: Lots of people have lovingly been asking me how I’ve been doing as we adjust to life without Mom.  In general, it’s really not fun.  I still worry most about the rest of my family and how they are all coping.  And I feel so deflated in the regular moments when I think to myself, “I should call Mom to…”  Then I kind of frown and often feel a lump in my throat and then move on.
There’s things I see or hear that so clearly remind me of times we’ve had togehter.  I can see her and hear her and remember her so clearly, that it’s painfully startling to re-realize that she’s gone.  Now it’s just me holding the memories of the times we have had together.  The other side of the “remember when” conversations is gone.
I’ve had so much fun picking out clothes and baby books and little things for this new baby.  And Mom would have loved to be part of it.  I feel so lucky to have a wonderful mother-in-law and sister to share these fun times with.  And since they both knew and loved Mom, it helps me feel more like she’s part of all this too.
All that said, on a daily basis, I don’t spend much time feeling sad. I sometimes worry that I may be avoiding the grieving process altogether, but then I think that a lot of that took place for me over the summer and in some ways over the last couple years.  And I know that Mom was really worried about me being too sad or stressed during this pregnancy.  Maybe she gave me a mommy spoonful of heart-healing medicine when she left.  Because for better or worse, while I miss her so much, I’m not holding a lot of sadness in my heart.

One thing that has been regularly coming to mind is the last weeks of Mom’s life.  At the time, we were all in a mode where we were doing what needed to get done.  We were providing a lot of care and nursing for Mom, and I was trying really hard to be accepting of the place we were and of the place where we were heading.  I’m so glad we had that time to help Mom let go and to say goodbye.  But I am currently thinking back on those times and mixing that purposeful sense of gratitude with memories about how wrong, how horrible really, it is to watch your mother die.

I think back, and my heart constricts as I remember seeing sign after sign that her body was failing and that she was irrevocably slipping away from her vibrant living self.

I remember times in July that I just knew that things were really not right, and I so desperately wanted to find a way to fix them.  Why didn’t Mom want me to buy her a new, lighter purse.  I couldn’t know at the time it was because she was never going to leave the house again on her own.

I think of Mom lying on her hospital bed and seeing the bag that held her urine turn darker and darker as her kidneys shut down.  At the time, I tried to just enjoy having her near me and being in her presence.  But now I think back on that image, and my soul shouts, “NO!”  My mom’s kidneys are NOT supposed to shut down.  That means that all the toxins are staying in her body and destroying her brain and meaning that she can never, never come back to us and be herself again.

…

Those last weeks had a whole lot of goodness to them.  But this month, as I continue to get used to the idea that Mom the person is gone, I’m also thinking back and working to come to terms with the hard parts of letting her go.

The up-side is that I still feel her all around me all the time.

Those are my thoughts for now.
~Althea