Dotzour Family.com – Page 17 – Althea, Bryan, Andrew, and Sylvia

February 21, 2011

Loss of appetite

“Hi”

I think I’m coming out of a rather intense bout of the seasonal flu. Since last Wednesday (that’s five days ago), I’ve been down and out. On Saturday, I was expecting to start to bounce back. But no. And Sunday was more of the same. The fatigue, dizziness, exhaustion, and cough just kept on coming. For every hour I was awake, I slept or dozed for two. I’d have a burst of energy and do some parenting or home-straightening or just sitting upright and then I’d crash for a few hours.

Bryan deserves a vacation.

One of my main symptoms has been a loss of appetite. Between Wednesday and Sunday, I ate almost nothing…my stomach didn’t feel like it could handle it. I’d lost my sense of smell and the idea of food seemed a little repulsive. So different than normal! But as I lay in bed in my daze, I would ponder how my loss of appetite for food mirrored my lack of drive for really anything. If the word “appetite” conveys some sense of desire, some grasp our hearts have on something untasted or untried; well, my appetite grabbed its bags and headed out the door last week.

As I lay on the couch, my thoughts which normally churn from one to-do list to the next were void. I bet that thanks to Netflix instant streaming movies I’ve watched about 10 movies…most of them fluff. And that’s about all I had the wherewithal to do – lift my gaze to a screen.

The other evening I roused myself, and Bryan asked what I was going to do.

“Put my pajamas back on,” I said.
“Oooo,” he joked, “I’ll call the press. I hear that there’s something going down at the capitol, but I’m sure that they’ll be interested to hear that after being in bed wearing your clothes for the last six hours that you’ll be switching it up to pajamas.”

That made me laugh on and off for the last couple days.

I’ve thought, “Stop the press! I’m opening a can of chicken and rice soup! I’m not sure, but I might be feeling hungry!”

When I woke up at 4 this morning, my tummy was grumbling. Can’t say that my appetite has returned, but I did feed myself the rest of that can of soup.

Fingers crossed that I’m finally on the mend!

February 15, 2011

Sylvie’s 3-yr appointment

Yesterday Sylvia had her 3-year doctor’s appointment. Her doctor is Catherine Kelley with UW Health/Unity, and we really like her. However, her office is all the way on the other side of town, and I’m a little weary of hiking all the way over there. In the last seven months/8 or so doctor’s appointments, this is actually just the second time that we’ve seen her. Soooo if anyone has recommendations for a Unity/UW doctor on the east side of town, let me know! Specifically, I’m curious about doctors at the Monona Clinic or the McFarland Clinic. The two clinics are merging this fall and will be just down the street, so I thought I’d try to find someone there.

Sylvia had her eyesight tested at this appointment. They used a few different shapes (apple/umbrella/house) that she identified. She came out as 20/30 vision.

Height and weight-wise, she was at the 50th percentile for both. She weighed in at 30lbs 12 oz and was 37.2″ tall. She was such a big girl, and did great for the whole exam. Sylv has had a cold/cough for the last week, and when they checked her ears, they said she had a mild ear infection. Poor girl. No antibiotics, though, as they said it should clear up on its own in about the same amount of time that the antibiotics would take.

When Sylv turned 3, we instituted new rules for Poodle and paci. If you haven’t been around Sylvie, you may now know that she’s intensely attached to her Poodle (blanket) and pacifier. There are periods when little in the world can calm her like those two comfort items. In the last year and a half, we’ve tried a few times to limit their use. We’ve had some short-term success, but have reverted to nearly full-time use when she’s having a hard day. I’m not really interested in my three-year-old walking around and mumbling through her pacifier. So we decided that 3-year-olds only use paci and Poodle a) in their rooms b) on the sofa (watching a show) or c) in the car. Happily, she’s on-board with this new system. We’re 5 days into the Poodle & Paci Reduction System and all is well. When she needs some time with them, she goes to her room. Then she tosses them behind her as she runs back out into the house. A few times, we’ve even left home without them. Gotta say that it makes this mom a little nervous, but it’s been going well. She’s developed some much stronger abilities to self-soothe, and that, my friends, is a good thing!

These photos of Sylv are taken last weekend when we visited Tom’s in-progress home on the Wisconsin River. More pics here. The new 3-year-old is wearing her new purple shoes from Granny and Grandad, her fairy dress from Grandma Jo, and he wings/gloves/wand from me and Bryan. If you can’t tell, she’s a fan of the new duds:)

February 14, 2011February 13, 2011

Missing

I’m not sure why, but this weekend I decided to pull up a box of papers I’ve stored in the basement from college and graduate school. Amidst old writing assignments, memorabilia, and material from my semesters abroad, I had years and years of letters.

You see, one thing about me is that I don’t throw away letters. I do toss cards, but letters, even little notes, get kept. EVERY one. For my WHOLE LIFE. There’s a lot of paper in boxes in my basement.

This afternoon, I decided to tackle one of the boxes because I was sure that a lot of it could go. A few hours later, it turned out that I only got rid of about 1/8 of the stuff. Still too connected to all the rest. For the first time, I pulled out all the letters from the late 90s and looked through each one. It was a wacky trip down memory lane. I got accepted to college, went away from my dear friends, met great college friends, met Bryan, went abroad to Botswana and Australia/NZ, graduated from college, and got married. Through all those transitions, I got a lot of mail. My mom wrote to me extensively. Heather, you wrote so much I was a little stunned. There are lots of notes in there from Sarah, my college roommate. Sarah, I still had about every note you left me such as, “I’m going to have lunch with my sister. See you at 6 for the concert.” There were notes from Anne and Kacy and from my grandparents. It’s pretty neat.

My mom sent me multiple postcards a week during my first years of college. Looking though the stack of cards from her, I felt immersed in her writing. I could hear her voice coming off the pages. A couple times I had to shake myself as if from am dream to remember that these letters are from over a decade ago. And that my mom is no longer here.

I feel so fortunate that my relationship with my mom was as loving and open as it was. Mom’s notes to me were brim-full of loving words and praise, and it’s clear from any note I saw that I was oh-so treasured by her.

It’s a good reminder to me…to not hold back…to make sure I tell those who are important to me just how stellar I think they are every single day. And to put it in my own hand writing too.

♥ ♥ ♥

I just sat down this evening to transcribe more of Mom’s recipes onto the computer for the cookbook I’m making of her recipes. Looking at her hand-written recipes (you can see them all here), I was just a little overcome with missing her.

Mom had this whole, full life that she wrote about to me when I was away. She made all these great recipes that she wrote down. And now she’s just gone. There’s no more daily life, there’s no more Thanksgiving yams.

We’re all moving on, and for the most part I’m used to that now, but back in the 90s, we all thought we’d have so much more time together. Tonight as I look at the splattered, stained recipe card, I’m a little overcome with missing my mom.

She’s been gone now for three and a half years. I’m thankful that her absence doesn’t cause so much pain, and the ache is lessening. But I still wish she was here. Oh, so much, I wish my mom was still around.

February 13, 2011February 11, 2011

Favorite parts of the day

I transcribed this from a voice memo I made on my phone on January 5. I thought about attaching the audio file, but when I hear my recorded voice I kinda want to yell and run the other direction, so I thought I’d stick with the written word.

Favorite moment of the day part 1.

I’m standing in front of Andrew’s school, looking off, when suddenly he runs at me and before I know it, his five-year-old arms are wrapped around my waist. I look down, and his snowsuit covered head is pressed tight against my tummy. So I put both hands on either side of his cheeks and tilt his head back so I can see him.

His eyes are sparkling and glinting, and he has a cute smile spreading between my hands. I bend down and kiss his forehead. I don’t think that much could be sweeter.

Favorite moment of the day part 2.

I come-to in the darkness of my bedroom, warm in my flannel sheets; and I feel pressed against my back a tiny body, her arm, reaching over my shoulder. She’s awake, and she can tell I’m waking up too. She snuggles her head into the back of my neck.

I take a few breaths, enjoying being together. Then I roll over and hug her. Her little two-year-old body can fit just inside my arms.

“Good morning, Sweetie,” I say. “I’m so happy to see you.”

She says, “Mommy, you’re my best friend in the whole world.”

Hard to imagine a nicer way to wake up.

February 12, 2011February 11, 2011

Sylvia’s birthday part II

Our little Sylv’s 3rd birthday was a hit. After we put the kids to bed, Bryan and I sat down and looked at the pictures from the day Sylvia was born. You can see her tiny baby pictures here on Flickr. Hard to believe that she was ever that small, but it’s clearly the same little person!

It sounded like Sylvia had a great day at Donna’s. She said that all her friends sang to her, and she even got some gifts. Fairies!

Here’s some pictures of our evening. More are available in the gallery.

Here’s some pics of today’s cake making.

Mmm cake batter. The recipe is here. I’ve hit upon a new standard for cakes. This is going to be my go-to cake recipe from now on.

Frosting in-progress. I decided to use the Smitten Kitchen’s Swiss Buttercream. It was fun to make and deeeelish!

The final result. A girl’s purple cake as requested.

Sylvia requested spaghetti and tofu with peas on the side for her birthday supper. And she got to eat off the “I’m special today” red plate. Afterward, we retired to the living room for some present opening. Here’s she’s admiring some little bunnies.

Opening a fairy wing/long glove/wand set that Bryan and I found recently.

Andrew got a gift too. Granny and Grandad got him this cash register for Christmas, but it was back-ordered and only arrived yesterday. It worked out perfectly because he was kinda bummed when he saw the stack of presents that Sylv was going to get to open. “I wish I got a present too!” he moaned. Then he smiled really big when I told him that there was indeed one for him. He spent the evening adding numbers on the cash register’s calculator.

Sylv got a fairy dress in the mail today from her great-Grandma Jo.

Here she’s casting a flying spell on me.

I love this picture. And I love this girl.

Granny made a new mattress along with a blanket and pillow for the crib. Sylv put it straight to work.

Lola Mae doll tries out the new bedding.

And Ellie gets the pillow and blanket.

With the presents all opened, we headed into the kitchen for some cake.

Yum, yum! This time instead of eating all the frosting and leaving the cake, she ate all the cake and left the frosting. One never knows.

I’m excited to have a three-year-old in our home again. Can’t wait to see what the year will hold for our little girl. Love her soooo much!

February 11, 2011

Sylvia Dotzour turns Three!

Hidey ho there, neighbors!

My little girl woke up this morning, a freshly minted Three. Remarkable!

She’s spending the day at Donna’s (daycare) where they had a cake and balloons. When we arrived (a little late today as there was some extra morning activities around here), all the kids were hiding and jumped out to yell, “Surprise!” Ahh, birthdays are fun.

Andrew has been so sweet and loving toward her. I personally recall some March 19ths in years past when I was, oh, shall we say a little jealous, of all the attention that Michael Jacob Babler was receiving. Not so for Mr. Andrew. That makes it extra-nice.

I’m home sans kids today, working on a photo class I’ll be leading, wedding contracts for this summer, and a beautiful photo order. With a kitty by my side, I’m having a great day too.

Then I remembered that I needed to make a cake. Sylvia suggested a yellow cake with purple frosting. I made my mom’s buttermilk cake for the SuperBowl party last weekend (“Go Pack!”), so I wanted to try something new. For those of you who don’t know me, I have issues repeating the same recipe.

Deb Perelman from The Smitten Kitchen is one of my favorite food writer/photographers, and she specializes in cakes. So when I saw that she had a “Best Birthday Cake” recipe, I had to try it. Funny thing, it’s almost identical to my mom’s buttermilk cake. We’ll see how it turns out.

I enjoyed whipping it up solo. Not having kids around:

a) made the job faster

b) made the job feel more luxurous

and

c) meant that I got to lick the beater, spoon, and bowl all myself.

No lunch necessary today.

I’m looking forward to frosting it!

Here’s a little video I made of Sylv trying on her new birthday shoes. A few weeks ago she told me she wanted purple shoes for her birthday. I was curious what she was thinking, so we shopped on Zappos together. It was a bonding experience. I sent the link of her favorite pair to Granny, and she went ahead and got them for her. Good thing too as about the first thing out of Sylvia’s mouth this morning was, “Where are my birthday shoes?”

Enjoy!

[flickr video=5436269111]

February 10, 2011

Winter’s cold

I woke up to a chilly world this morning. When I hopped into my car at 5:15, the thermometer read -12℉. Burr! The humidity is low, the sky is clear, and the stars pop against the inky darkness like Valentine jewels tossed up into the firmament.

As much as my skin would like it to be, oh, 80 degrees warmer, I do love these frigid winter days. I love the pink sunrise that reflects on the heaping mounds of fresh snow. I love to hear the squeak and metallic crunch of super-cold snow under my feet. (You can tell it’s really cold by the sound of your boots, walking.) I love how clear and brilliantly blue the sky gets on a winter day, and how blindingly white the glittery snow is. Light is bouncing everywhere, and yet warming little!

Today is Sylvia’s very last day of being 2-years-old. It’s a sparkly day, and she is a sparkly girl.

Here’s a poem about February that makes me smile as things do when they hit upon the kernel of truth:

February

Around, above the world of snow
The light-heeled breezes breath and blow;
Now here, now there, they wheel the flakes,
And whistle through the sun-dried brakes,
Then, growing faint, in silence fall
Against the keyhole in the hall.

Then dusky twilight spreads around,
The last soft snowflake seeks the ground,
And through unshaded window panes
The lamp-rays strike across the plains,
While now and then a shadow tall
Is thrown upon the whitewashed wall.

The hoar frost cackles on the trees,
The rattling brook begins to freeze,
The well sweep glistens in the light
As if with dust of diamonds bright;
And spreading o’er the crusted snow
A few swift-footed rabbits go.

Then the night silence, long and deep,
When weary eyes close fast in sleep;
The hush of Nature’s breath, until
The cock crows loud upon the hill;
And shortly through the eastern haze
The red sun sets the sky ablaze.

James Berry Bensel

Happy winter, all!

February 7, 2011February 5, 2011

The Princess Bride

My kids are completely smitten with the movie The Princess Bride. It’s one of my favorite movies, and I find myself regularly thinking that each scene is the one I like best.

When Sylvia reads books or watches movies or sees a picture, she immediately identifies who she is and who others are. For example, while reading Good Night Moon, she’ll interrupt right away to point out that she’s the little bunny and I’m the mommy bunny and Andrew’s the kitty and Daddy is the mouse.

So while watching The Princess Bride, a running dialogue from the kids is who is who. Andrew is Wesley…the man in black.

And in the opening sequence when Buttercup comes in riding a horse, Sylvia yells out, “There you, Mommy!”

I’m often surprised that Sylv has given me the role of Buttercup. After all, she becomes a princess and wears beautiful dresses.

But yet, I’m consistently given the Buttercup role.

So now you’re wondering who Sylvia says she is. Here it is:

Humperdink

It cracks me up each time. “There I am! Humperdink!”

Andrew’s favorite scenes (based on how many times he rewinds and re-watches them) are split between this one:

and this one:

When I asked her what her favorite scene was, she told me it was when “the little guy” says, “really?”

I’m gratified to know that while my little girl nurtures some serious princess-y affections that she mixes it up now and then:)

Speaking of which, I saw this book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the front line of the new girly-girl culture, and right away I’ve put it on reserve from the library (although I’m #80 on the list, so it may be a while). It sounds like a funny book much-needed book. Here’s a quote I found:

I mean pink is just a color, but it’s a small slice of the rainbow and it comes to represent this little box that gets tighter and tighter around girls that tells them that girlhood is defined by makeovers at four years old and princesses and being the fairest and ultimately the hottest of them all.

February 6, 2011February 4, 2011

A perfect day

I had a glorious day today. Although Sylvia is in full-day daycare two times per week, it’s been over two weeks since I’ve had a string of hours to work. And folks, I love to have several uninterrupted hours to work. For me, right now, it doesn’t get much better than six hours of me and my laptop at a coffee shop working on my photography business.

My major focus this morning was on strategic planning. I purchased a workbook to help me create a business plan. I’ll admit here in a hushed whisper that although I’ve been in business for 32 months, I don’t have a written-down business plan. Shhhh. It’s in my head. But not on paper. Until now. I started today and plan to finish a draft by the end of the month.

One of the first exercises in this workbook is to envision your perfect day. The idea is to think about the things in life that give me the most joy so I can be sure my plan aligns my personal and professional goals.

I’ve had fun with this exercise. And I thought I’d share my perfect day mullings here.

Perfect Day 1

I wake up to glowing sunlight sparking on freshly fallen snow and I snuggle back down into my thick, soft sheets. I feel rested, having just gotten 8 hours of sleep, and as I roll over, I see the snuggly body of a little one curled between me and Bryan. A few moments later, I hear some pitter pats of feet, and a second sleepy child is cuddling. Hands touch, arms wrap, we all breathe deeply together. Words don’t come for a while as we all slowly wake up together, ready to start a new day. Then somebody tickles somebody. Giggles erupt. There’s some wrestling and laughter, and everyone bounds out of bed to get dressed and ready for school and work and daycare.
I take my laptop to a cozy cafe, order a latte, and settle down for seven hours of uninterrupted work. No meetings, no errands, no housework, no phone calls. Just me and my to-do list. Four hours later, I stand up and buy lunch. A couple hours later, I get up, stretch, and head out pick up my kids. I’m refreshed and energized from my day. It’s as if the computer and I just wrote a symphony together and I can still hear the melody running through my mind.

The kids and I come home, the two of them chatting about their days. At home, I smile at the clean, unclutteredness of our surroundings. I check the mail – a letter from a friend! The kids and I eat a healthy, yummy snack and sit down to read a couple chapters from a book together. I love feeling their bodies warm against mine as we read together. They tell me more about their day and then they run off to play imaginative games happily together. The doorbell rings – it’s a shoe delivery! Our baby sitter comes over and makes supper for the kids while Bryan and I get ready to go out for sushi. We kiss our smiling kids adieu and head out for an evening of adult conversation, good food, and companionship.

Ahh, yup, that sounds like a perfect day to me. But it’s not the whole picture. So here’s

Perfect Day 2

The kids, Bryan, and I all wake up in a tent. Only the birds can be heard. Getting up and dressed is a disorganized, messy endeavor, but we all laugh through it. The day lays before us like an adventure – there will be swimming and hiking and birding and climbing. Berries may be eaten. Campfires will be built. Mosquitoes and flies don’t exist.

The day is ours, and we spend it – mostly together, sometimes alone – outdoors. Until the diamond-like stars fill the sky, the fire burns down, and we all turn in (a little sticky from all the ‘smores), under the same tent where we sleep and dream together as a family.

Then there’s Perfect Day 3

Someone I love but who lives far away (ie. Maretta, LuAnn, Melanie, Heather, Grace) is in town. We spend a few hours together walking around or making something or shopping or cooking together. It’s a lot of fun! In the afternoon, I take my camera and head outdoors to photograph flowers and trees and other things that hold still and don’t make demands on me. My spirit is restored. I look at the calendar and realize that a friend should be receiving the surprise bouquet of flowers I had sent to them. It makes me smile to imagine their happiness. When I check my email, I see that I’ve got a couple new client inquiries and another client wrote to tell me how happy she is with her pictures. I feel happy and satisfied. I pull out a couple pints of farmer’s market berries and make a delicious dish to bring to an evening get-together of my Gathering Waters co-workers. The UPS man delivers a camera bag that I’ve been admiring for ages. My house is clean and yet, I didn’t clean it. I go for a run in the evening and watch the stars come out. After dinner, Bryan and I snuggle on the sofa and watch Bleak House.

Perfect Day 4

It’s a summer morning. The kids and I meet up with Jessica, Eli, and Celia, and walk down to the pool for swimming lessons. The day is already hot, and the sun is bright. The kids are laughing and playing, running up ahead. While the kids are in the pool, Jessica and I lean back on the pool deck and soak up the sun while we catch up and help each other clear our minds. After swimming lessons, we walk the kids home and play in the yard and the garden for a while, playing peek-a-boo with the girls in the bean tepee. A baby sitter comes over to take care of the kids while Jessica and I go to a spa for massages and facials and (hey why not) pedicures and manicures too. Then we stop for a delicious, locally grown and amazingly tasty meal. We go shopping for cute new summer dresses. When we come home, our husbands have gotten together to prepare a delicious dinner – grilled chicken, corn salsa, watermelon, and a strawberry spinach salad. The kids eat and then run off to play while the adults all sit around the picnic table, watching the cool evening settle across the sky. We drink sangria and laugh and breathe.

…

I’m sure I could come up with more! There could be a perfect day at Jack’s, a perfect day in Texas, a perfect day on vacation with my honey, a perfect day including one-on-one time with each of my kids. I like the fact that each my perfect days are relatively attainable. There’s a lot of child care available in my perfect days. And a lot of unscheduled time for myself. And there is a serious absence of any household maintenance in my imaginary perfect days. Interesting:)

Well that was a fun exercise. It certainly put a smile on my face. Thanks for reading!

Now it’s your turn. What would a perfect day be like for you? What’s stopping you from making your perfect day happen?

February 5, 2011February 3, 2011

First view of Tom’s River Retreat

Our friend Tom has dreamed of owning a home by the Wisconsin River since he was a graduate student at the UW in the 1970s. A few years ago, he started looking for properties between Spring Green and Lone Rock. Then, last summer, he found a lovely piece of land just downstream of the Lone Rock bridge (that’s the bridge on Hwy 14 that looks like it’s going to run into a rock bluff 🙂

Tom started construction on his new home last fall. I hadn’t been out to see it yet, so on our drive home from Jack’s house, we made a visit. Here we’re on the Lone Rock bridge heading east. That’s the Wisconsin River below. Tom’s property is in sight if you were to look left.

Just after crossing the bridge, we see a sign for Lone Rock. And when we take a left, we’re on a dead-end street headed to his place.

And here it is! Tom’s River Retreat and Water Palace a.k.a. Jack’s Big Bluff East. There’s Tom opening the door to show us in.

Lots of construction going on still. He’s getting permits left and right, and he thinks it will be move-in ready by next week! This picture shows the living room, and an open bedroom up the stairs.

This is the whirlpool/soaker tub/sauna area. The big circular thing next to Bryan is the footprint for the whirlpool. The door to the sauna is on the left side of this room.

The sauna is complete. And just beautiful.

Looking out the doors from the water room. The area close to the house will be a patio area. Down by the trees, the Wisconsin River is mostly covered with ice. The Lone Rock bridge is off to the left.

There’s our happy new home owner. Tom’s been the contractor for all this building and construction, and it’s kept him incredibly busy. We used to see him a couple times a week, but since they broke ground in September, we see him only occasionally.

Here’s a table saw in one of the bedrooms. In addition to the main open bedroom in the living area, there are two guest rooms, each of which is planned to have a set of queen sized bunk beds for Babler/Haller/Dotzour/Zilic family gatherings.

Here I’m standing in the master bedroom looking down at the living room. The two guest rooms are directly across. The front door is hidden behind Tom. Bryan is across from the kitchen and the water room.

Here’s the kitchen. The appliances are beautiful, and the view (down toward the river) is wonderful. It’ll be fun to prepare some meals here!

The whirlpool/soaker tub/sauna is through the beautiful windows and French doors. Facing south, this bank of windows gets lots of lovely light.

Next, Tom took us outside to check out the basement.

Here Tom is opening up the doors to the basement. The patio area is just behind him.

There’s the soaker tub. It’s wood!

Here Tom is showing me his new furnace, water heater, etc. He put something like six inches of spray foam insulation in the walls.

Andrew’s exploring.

So there you have it. Tom’s River Retreat. He’ll still be living in Madison in his condo. This new place seems like it will be an amazing addition to our weekend outdoor options. Lone Rock is about 70 minutes from our place. Good work, Tom!

A more complete set of photos from this tour is available in my gallery.