Dotzour Family.com – Page 45 – Althea, Bryan, Andrew, and Sylvia

September 1, 2009September 1, 2009

Weekend activities…made it through

I made it through the last week pretty well. Even yesterday, the anniversary of my mom’s untimely demise, didn’t turn out to be too rough a day. For those of you who missed it in 2007, here’s Margot Babler’s obituary.

I spent the whole day yesterday doing domestic duties. It took me hours to pull the house back into shape, do a few loads of laundry, vacuum, clean litter boxes, go grocery shopping, and make dinner. I feel proud that neither of the kids sustained any serious injuries while they amused themselves and “helped” me. Simple Mom did a post about balancing housework and parenting. What with all my work on Althea Dotzour Photography, I haven’t focused as much on domestic work these past months.

Oh, and by the way, if you’re on Facebook, become a fan of Althea Dotzour Photography! If I’ve taken photos for you, you can write a quick review for me here!

I’ve done lots of great photo sessions this summer, and I’m excited about getting beautiful autumn portraits over the next few months. Should be a good time to help families get family pictures for Christmas! I’m currently booking sessions for September-November. If you’re interested, drop me a note!

Last weekend was chilly to cold. It was hard to believe that it was still August! We’ve had a cold summer this year! On Saturday morning, Bryan and I bundled up the kids and we went to the Orton Park Festival to hear David Landau sing.

Sylvia was quite intrigued but didn’t want to get off my lap to dance. And Andrew was transfixed but wanted to sit on one of our laps well away from the singing/dancing action. It was a beautiful morning for some playground pictures!

Continue reading “Weekend activities…made it through”

September 1, 2009

same kind of different as me

I really enjoyed reading the book Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. It’s a neat book about a friendship between homeless Denver and affluent, evangelical Ron. Over the course of the book, Ron’s wife dies of cancer. It was a therapeutic book to read over the last week.

A couple quotes that stuck with me:

I remember one time I was hunkered down in the hobo jungle with some folks. We was talkin ’bout life, and this fella was talkin, and said, “People think they’re in control, but they ain’t. The truth is, that which must befall thee must befall thee. And that which must pass thee by must pass thee by.”
You’d be surpised what you can learn talkin to homeless people. I learned to accept life for what it is.

… and later

The truth about it is, whether rich or poor or somethin in between, this earth ain’t no final restin place. So in a way, we is all homeless–just working our way toward home.

Tomorrow is the three-year anniversary of little Allen Lerner’s birth. Here’s a post I wrote back in 2006. September 1st was the day that they discovered that he was no longer alive. My heart is full of sadness for the baby who I so wish had lived and for the dark and heavy road Heather and Michael have had to travel since then.

Heather and Michael just moved to a new home in Takoma Park last weekend. I’m sending them lots of love, and I’m sure they could use any loving thoughts you can send their way.

August 27, 2009

Grace

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all the people out there who sent me loving, encouraging, thoughtful notes after I posted about this being the two-year anniversary of my my mom’s death. I’ve felt comforted, and in the days since I wrote that post, I’ve stopped feeling sad. Instead, I feel calm. It helps me a lot to be able to pour out my messy thoughts, and then to (amazingly, it seems) feel the responses come spilling back, feel the support and the community in which I live.

The last couple nights, I’ve been sleeping well again. I still miss that my mom isn’t here, but the anniversary part of it feels alright.

So thanks for reading and sending back loving notes and prayers and thoughts. I appreciate them all. You make me feel like dancing.

What a sweet expression! — Mom and Andrew - March 2006

August 26, 2009August 26, 2009

Investments

Bryan and I have had Roth IRAs (for retirement) since we got married in 1999. We also have retirement accounts through our employers. I’ve done some reading about investments and retiring (one of my favorite resources is the Motley Fool), but in general, our investments (which we have with Charles Schwab) aren’t something we think about very much.

Earlier this year, we purchased a new life insurance policy for Bryan. The man who sold us the life insurance is a financial planner, and Bryan and I met with him this morning to get his assessment of our retirement savings.

This is a chart Matt gave us to illustrate the periods of flat market over the last 100 years

Matt Cuplin with Midwest Financial Group is a nice guy. He was thorough and good at answering questions. (See here for info on working with a financial manager!) His main advice was that Bryan and I switch gears from the traditional “buy and hold” theory of investing and move to a system where we more actively manage our investments.

Currently, we have our funds in a couple aggressive mutual funds (Schwab MarketTrack All Equity is the main one). They’ve been there for 10 years. There’s been growth, there’s been decline. Frankly, I don’t even read the statements more than once a year because our approach has been that over time, (and we’ve got a lot of time until retirement) the accounts will go up. So why sweat it on the short term? The fees are low, and history has showed that stocks are a good bet in the long-term.

The downside of working with money managers is that you have to pay them. And in general, I’m not so in to paying fees on my investments. Matt’s argument is that actively managed funds do better in a “flat market.” The money managers pull back on stocks (re-allocate) during flat periods and then re-invest in stocks when things pick up. Overall, this approach is supposed to lead to higher returns.

Matt is recommending that we move our funds to a company called Flexible Plan Investments. His information shows that their aggressive fund out-performs the Index in a 10-year period. Its benchmark return (after fees) is a couple points higher than what we’ve been getting on either of our funds.

Matt’s argument is that by actively managing our investments, we’ll earn enough more that we’ll cover the 2% fee plus (which covers himself and the we’ll have more in the bank.

Sooo, I think we’re going to try it. We’ve done the other approach for 10 years, we’ll give this approach a spin for a while.

That said, if anyone out there has sage advice about investing or spots any red flags in this scenario, please let me know!

August 25, 2009August 25, 2009

Yay, babysitter!

(4pm) I’m writing to you from the quiet comfort of Java Cat coffee shop. Emma is home with my children. In about 10 minutes, I’m going to go to Woodman’s grocery store by myself. In the middle of the day. Who thought that going to Woodman’s would be a luxury? We’ll have food in the house!

Emma is home from college this week, so I’m taking advantage of her proximity (she lives next door). When she first came over, I cleaned the kitchen, did a load of laundry, and in other ways straightened my life. Ahhh.

Thanks, Emma! I hope you and the kiddos are having fun!

August 25, 2009August 24, 2009

Family potluck

Joe and Becky head back to school today. They’re driving to Maine through Canada by driving up through the UP. Joe goes to school at Bowdoin in Maine, and Becky goes to school at Williams in Massachusetts. Click here for a map of (what I’m guessing is) their route.

On Sunday night, Bryan and I hosted a potluck picnic to send Joe and Becky off. Maretta and Kyle happen to live in Minnesota, so they were unable to attend, but Michael and Lisa, Terry, Tom, and Dad, and Joe and Becky all came over. We grilled out and ate at the picnic table. Frisbees were thrown after dinner. Blueberry cobbler with cream was consumed. It was a lovely night, and I’ll remember it fondly for a long time.

Continue reading “Family potluck”

August 25, 2009August 24, 2009

Sylvie being cute

I took this video a couple weeks ago. It’s not spectacular, but it shows sweet Sylvie saying “bye bye” while opening and closing the gate and being her adorable self.

[flickr video=3854167564]

August 24, 2009

Hardest week of my life

My body is reacting a little to this last week in August. I’ve been having a hard time sleeping.

Two years ago today was the last day that my sweet mom was present. It was a Friday. She said goodbye to Joe, who was leaving for college. Christy Parks was visiting. All the previous week, her health had been declining oh, so rapidly. Many of her dearest friends had visited. She ate a lot of strong, salty foods. She slept a lot. She hurt.

Coneflower and bergamont from the prairie last week

After Joe got in the car and drove away, Mom said she was really tired and needed to sleep. I don’t remember having any back-and-forth communication with her after that. Saturday she told me she was tired. She took her pain killers. Maybe we were still trying to encourage her to eat…I don’t remember. In any case, by Sunday it became clear that the end was fast approaching. On Monday morning, she was at the Hospice center. She (at least for me) had slipped below the surface. She fought that last week. She didn’t want to die. Really, really didn’t want to die.

Continue reading “Hardest week of my life”

August 22, 2009August 22, 2009

Bike’n babes

Andrew and Sylvia have been loving zooming up and down the driveway on their bikes. I took lots of pictures, and the following album includes biking pics as well as Andrew fishing, swinging on swings, swimming, and going for a walk in the rain.

Sarah and Wes’ baby, Charlie, turned one this week. Hard to believe!! We’re attending his birthday party this afternoon, and I’m looking forward to seeing the little fellow. We haven’t gotten together much these last few months, and somehow, he’s morphed from a baby to a near-toddler!

I have a couple photo sessions scheduled this weekend. One this evening with a neighbor and one on Sunday morning with a little baby who is also heading toward one waaay too fast! I’ve just charged my battery so I’m ready for a lot of picture-taking.

I’ve gotten some nice response to my Althea Dotzour Photography website and Facebook release. If you haven’t already, look me up and become a fan! Also, I’m running a special through the end of the month of 50% off the session fee. You can reach me at adotzour@gmail.com to set up a session. More info is available on my business website.

Continue reading “Bike’n babes”

August 20, 2009August 20, 2009

Swim lessons complete

What a lovely Thursday! The morning was rainy and cloudy, but the sun in shimmering through the trees right now. Sylvie is napping, Andrew is off fishing with our neighbors (Jenni and Kaysi), and I just created a Facebook page for my photography business. Look me up!

I’ve worked on my photography website the last few nights, and I’ve got to a place where I think I’m going to be “releasing it” by doing more promotion. Check it out at Althea Dotzour Photography. Let me know if you have suggestions or problems navigating it. I’d love to hear feedback from friends before future clients really dive in.

This morning Sylvia had her 18-month doctor’s appointment. She got three vaccinations, the poor dear. The whole appointment, she really wanted to leave the room. I’m glad that we’re done with shots (except flu vaccines) until she turns 5!

Andrew’s last swimming lesson was this morning. He had such a good time! I’m really glad Jessica suggested it! Andrew loved playing in the water. He seems really comfortable hopping around in the shallow end, blowing bubbles, etc. He’s been announcing to everyone that he’s bobbing his head underwater. In fact, he’s only going under up to his eyebrows, but it’s progress, and it’s great to see him so delighted with himself.

I’m going to American Players Theater this evening to see Henry V. It’ll be like my sixth APT performance of the summer, and I can’t wait! I’m going out with a group of my mom friends, and I still have to get the ingredients for my part of the potluck. At least I have three hours. Until I should be there. Showered. Hmmm. Maybe I should get going on all this.

Sylvia’s wonderful pink Cruiser tricycle came in the mail today. Andrew helped me put it together, and Sylvia already loves it. Photos will come soon. It’s a very photogenic tricycle.