Deep thoughts

It’s Wednesday…my morning without children!  Andrew is at preschool and Sylvia is at Donna’s house, and I am at the library uploading sweet pictures from a recent photo session.

While I was waiting for my computer to go chug, chug, chugging along (it needs quite a bit of time to process these things…), I wandered over to a display and picked up a book called, When God Is Gone Everything Is Holy by Chet Raymo (2008).  As I flipped through it, I came across a couple passages that really struck me.  I don’t know that they are exactly how I feel, but I have rarely found printed words that capture my sense like these did.

I wanted to write some of these down, and I thought I’d write them down here to share them with you.  My readers come from a wide variety of backgrounds, and I’m curious what you all think of this.

Here’s the first passage I read…page 22. And this is one I really relate to:

I am an atheist, if by God one means a transcendent Person who acts willfully within the creation.  I am an agnostic in that I believe our knowledge of “what is” is partial and tentative – a tiny flickering flame in the overwhelming shadows of our ignorance.

Here again is a passage I thought was interesting on page 19

The religious naturalist forgoes a personal God.  God defined in our own image.  God invested with human qualities: justice, love, will, desire, jealousy, artifice, and so on — in short, the attributes of human personhood.

the author goes on to quote the Greek novelist Nikos Kanzantzakis from his book Spiritual Exercises:

We have seen the highest circle of spiraling powers.  We have named this circle God.  We might have given it any other name we wished: Abyss, Mystery, Absolute Darkness, Absolute Light, Matter, Spirit, Ultimate Hope, Ultimate Despair, Silence.  But we have named it God only this name, for primordial reasons, can stir the heart profoundly.  And this deeply felt emotion is indispensable if we are to touch, body with body, the dread essence beyond logic.

That was interesting, but this part…page 91…was really cool.  A geneticist, Dean Hammer, wrote a book called The God Gene: How Faith Is Hardwired into Our Genes. Our author says,

The gist of Hamer’s argument is this: he has identified a gene that correlates with a personality trait called self-transcendence, as measured on a standard test called a “Temperament and Character Inventory.”  Self-transcendence is a term used by psychologists to describe spiritual feelings that are independent of traditional religion.  It is not based on belief in God, frequency of prayer, or any other conventional religious practice.  Self-transcendent people are self-forgetful, and tend to see everything, including themselves, as part of one great totality.  They have a  strong sense of “at-one-ness” with people, places, and things.  They are likely to be environmentalists, or active in the fight against poverty, racism, and war.

wow.  Reading that I was thinking, “My goodness…I’m super self-transcendent!  Cool!  A category!”  But then he goes on…

Self-transcendent individuals are mystical.  They are fascinated with things that cannot be explained by science.  They are creative, but may also be prone to psychosis.  In short, they are spiritual, and inclined to believe in God.

Hmmm.  Well, maybe I’m half self-transcendent.  Can’t say that I identify with anything in that second part.  While I’m not the kind of person who feels like everything must be explained or proven, I am happier when they are.   And I’m really not mystical.

Well, the book goes on, but I need to return to my regularly scheduled work.  Enjoy!

Thoughts on children to consider today

On Children
By Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Leaf pile!

Our neighborhood park is full of oak trees. And this weekend, we discovered that the oak leaves have been put into one big, huge pile of leaves. Since the pile is 20-30 feet in diameter and 3+ feet deep, it was more like a pool of leaves!

We made several visits to the leaf pool over the weekend. It was so fun to watch Bryan toss the kids a few feet in the air and see them diasappear, “woosh!” in a puff of leaves.

We hunted for each other. Bryan and I dove in and disappeared. The leaves were dry and fluffy. They smelled like oak and autumn and life. Lying burried beneath them, I felt warm and safe and insulated…until Andrew or Sylvia found me!

The kids wanted face paint on Saturday, so the pictures are of two leopards playing in the leaves.

Note: This post was all thumb-typed on my iPhone. Only three more days without Internet!

When she laughs

Tonight while she was taking a bath, Sylvia gave a peal of laughter that just made my heart sing.

That girl. When she is happy, she reminds me of the king in the book The Quiltmaker’s Gift whose laugh, “Could make green apples fall and make flowers turn his way.”

I found myself musing about what an amazing experience it may be for someone to fall in love with my little Sylvia. I have a feeling that she will someday turn someone’s world upside down. Life is more vibrant when it’s lived through Sylvia’s lens.

My girl has great powers. And her little self brings such joy to my soul.

Turkey plans

Lisa stopped over this morning, and the two of us made plans for Thanksgiving. It was fun to look through recipes, think through meal options, and draw up a game-plan.

Mmmmm. I think it’ll be a tasty day.

Lisa also brought over proofs from her wedding pictures. They are lovely! I love weddings!

Andrew is whistling while planning out what he’d like me to paint his face. He’s thinking maybe a lion or a tiger. Random Saturday face painting.

He just finished reading me the book The Enormous Turnip. Such an amzing boy. Sylvie is napping, and Bryan is at a friend’s house.

Enjoy your Saturday!

Andrew is back!

It’s been several days since I’ve posted, which tends to make me feel a little crazy. But all is well.

Andrew flew back home from Texas on Tuesday night. We had a joyous reunion, and over the next several days, my statements like, “I am so happy you are home!” have been met with the lovely response, “I’m so happy you’re home too!”

Andrew had a fabuloso time. LuAnn reported that he was almost never sad, and he came back brim-full of stories and happy memories.

Our little guy went back to preschool on Wednesday…he was excited that his classmates would be happy to see him. We got to see Tom and Terry and got some nice playtime with Eli.

LuAnn stayed with us Wednesday and got some one-on-one playtime with Sylvia while Andrew was at school.

I am typing this pos out with my thumbs, which is a strange and new experience! My home Internet service is down this week, and so I’m posting this from my (new) iPhone.

I did a couple great photo sessions last weekend, and I am loving looking through the images. Being a photographer is so very, very rewarding! What a wonderful thing it is to be able to capture some childhhood magic for parents to store and share. I feel really lucky!

Hope your week is fine!

Andrew comes home today!

Bryan’s mom is flying Andrew home from Texas tonight!  Our little guy has been having a fabulous time in Dallas and in College Station since November 1.  As far as I can tell, he’s had a supremely wonderful time.

He called me a couple times on Aunt Melanie’s phone early in his trip, and then I spoke to him one or two other times.  It amazes and delights me that he feels so content at Granny and Grandad’s home that he doesn’t need to check-in too much with us.

Meanwhile, here at home, Bryan, Sylvia and I are having a wonderful time.  It has been so great to spend one-on-one time with Sylvie.  She’s been just loving all the focused attention.  We talk about Andrew, but since we know he’s safe and happy, we’ve been enjoying the increased quiet and calm around our house!

IMG_7291

Speaking of calm, I had no idea how much calmer, and cleaner life would be with one child in the house!  It will be great to have Andrew back home, but life has felt pretty easy these last 10 days being the mom of only one.  I thought that Sylvia was the noisier, messier kid, but it turns out that when it’s just her and me, we have significantly less dishes to wash, clothes to wash, and toys to pick up.  Plus, when Sylvia is napping or playing with something on her own, I am free to do whatever I want rather than immediately turning my attention to my boy.

So that’s meant that at the end of the day, I’m less tired since the overall parenting and home maintenance work was less than what I’m used to.  The coolest part, is that Sylvia goes to bed at 7pm.  Andrew goes to bed at 8pm, so every night he’s been in Texas, I feel like I have had a whole extra hour of free time.  I can clean the house for an hour and still have two or three hours of free time.  And since I’m less tired, I can get more done in that time!  It’s been awesome:)

So we’ve been faring well with his absence.  And I CANNOT WAIT to get some Andrew hugs and snuggles.  mmmmm  It’ll be good to have him back home.

THANKS to Melanie, Granny, and Grandad for taking our boy.  I am so glad that he had fun with you!  Thanks for the parenting vacation!

PS. I pulled all the pictures of Andrew from Granny’s Facebook page.  Thanks, Granny for sharing pics of our guy to keep us smiling while he was away!

Money management – shopping

When I was a baby, one of my first words was, “Shopping!”  I would say it when I saw my grandma (my mom’s mom).  My mom loved to shop.  My grandma loved to shop.  My sister loves to shop.  I also love to shop.  We’re bargain hunters.  We’re quality-finders.  We comparison shop and help friends find just what they’re looking for, and we love it.

Unfortunately, it costs money.

Fortunately, while I love to shop, I tend to feel like I don’t do a lot of it.  I felt happy and confident in that notion until I looked at Mint.com and see that we spent over $4,000 in the “shopping” category in the last 12 months.

Our “shopping” category includes things like clothes, electronics, books, and anything we buy from places like Walgreens or Target.

Bryan and I don’t spend money equally.  I’m going to guess that I spent 95% of the dollars spent in the “shopping” category.  Bryan isn’t the one in our family to buy clothes or to go to Target to stock up on office supplies or to buy a replacement coffee maker.

This is one category…since it’s almost entirely discretionary…that I first cut back on when we need to save some denaros.   It’s also one that would make a lot of sense to budget this category more closely.  I think I have a good sense of what we spend, but if I had cash in an envelope to spend, I’d be sure to stay on budget.  I still haven’t implemented the cash budgeting system, but I may. On the other hand, Mint.com sends me emails when we’re approaching the budget limit, which is pretty helpful.

On the plus side, (according to Mint.com) our family spends less than the USA average on the “shopping” category.  And it helps that unless I have someone to watch my kids that shopping isn’t too fun an experience in general!

I spent about $500 on clothes and shoes for Sylvia and Andrew over the last year.  That seems like a lot, but then again, much of it is from resale shops…

How does your family handle “shopping” expenses?  Do you have a clothes budget for each family member?  How do you decide on the best time to purchase things like, oh, a replacement microwave or a new lamp?  Are you a compulsive reader of Consumer Reports?

Just wondering 🙂

Money management – Travel!

This post is the fifth entry in my money management series.  To start at the beginning, see post one: money management, post two: housing, post three: food matters, and post four: a penny for the coffee, a penny for the tea here!

Over the last year, our third largest spending category (10% of expenses) was travel.   I feel really fortunate that we can be spending a significant portion of our funds on something that is so much fun (as compared to the #4 category – automobiles).  Plane tickets are so much more fun than new breaks!

Sweden Day One - Flying and Stockholm

This year we spent the majority of our travel dollars on our July trip to Sweden, but looking over the list brings back other fond memories of smaller trips we’ve taken.  I love getting to see friends and family since we’re all so spread out.  The internet is great, but spending time together, face to face is definitely the best.

It’s about time for us to start mapping out 2010.  Bryan and I usually sit down in December or January and figure out what trips we want to take and then map them out over the next couple or few years.  Then we make sure we have the vacation time we need and can save up for those travel expenses.

I don’t right now, but I used to have a bank account set aside for vacation savings.  I had some funds automatically transfer into the account every month from our primary checking account, and then when we wanted to take a trip, we had dedicated money to do so.  Now that I’ve written that down, it sounds like a good idea.  I think I should set up an account for that again!

At our current bank (Charles Schwab), I have a primary checking account, a savings account ($1,000 emergency fund), and a long-term emergency fund (slowly working toward saving enough money to cover 6 months of expenses).  I think I should also set up accounts to segregate vacation funds and maybe another one for car repairs, and maybe one for household expenses like a roof (eeek) or a new sofa.

In general, I hope we can control our other expenses enough that we can afford to allot a sweet percent to something we all love doing so much.

Good advice

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

– Maya Angelou

IMG_7282