Growing up…registering for kindergarten

Can you believe that my little baby boy is going to be a kindergartner this fall?

It’s true.

Four and a half years ago, he looked like this.  He was a tiny newborn who didn’t even know how to nurse.  He was about to open his blue eyes to see the sunlight of a new day for the very first time.  I slept with him curled right next to me because being apart from his little self made me feel like I was missing a limb or an organ.

He had grown in my womb, and through his birth, I became a mother and he became a child of the world.

Then he started growing up.  Not being a newborn.

He started walking and running and then talking too.

As he’s grown, Andrew has consistently shown his lovely self.  He’s solid.  And smart.  And imaginative.  And determined.  And reserved.  And mellow.  Except when he’s crazy.  He takes his time to warm up, and when he does, his smile shines like the sun.

He’s made friends.  Good friends.  Who help him grow and adjust and delight in the world in new and wonderful ways.

He’s gone from being a baby to becoming a big brother.  And in that moment, he suddenly became so big, so grown up.

Andrew has loved going to preschool at Monona Grove Nursery School.  I love the small size of his school, the wonderful teachers, the relaxed, play-based, non-academic atmosphere.  It’s such a gentle first school experience.  Plus, the other children and their parents are so much fun.

Sending him to preschool two mornings a week last year and three mornings a week this year has been a wonderful addition to our days.

I recently learned that I need to register Andrew for kindergarten (I’ve also recently learned that I don’t know how to spell kindergarten).   March 1.  aaaaaak!  Sorry, I’m better.  I’m really excited about Andrew going to kindergarten.  But.  yeah.  It feels like a big step.  It feels like moving from the known and familiar to the unknown.  He’ll be away from me for seven hours a day, five days a week.  He’ll be going to school in a big building that has always looked to me more like a high school than an elementary school.  And I think he’ll be fine.  I’ll just need a little time to adjust.  Here, in the comfort of the interwebs, I will adjust.

It’s an odd thing, learning to let go.  When our babes are tiny, it feels like we can control every aspect of their existence.  We choose their toys and their clothes and the songs they listen to and the people they interact with.  We can ensure that they only eat exactly the kinds of foods we want them to have in their precious little bodies.  Then, slowly, that shifts.  If we’re smart, we let other people take care of them, give our children the opportunity to experience life solo with relatives and friends or babysitters.  Then, suddenly, they have experiences that are apart from us.  They know songs or books or games that we’ve never heard of.  And it’s wonderful, and it feels a little odd.

So this kindergarten thing is just a part of that whole letting go continuum.  It’s symbolic of starting in the long school process that will culminate in high school graduation.  It’s going to mean a big change in the way our days are structured and in the way we spend time together.  And it’s going to mean that most of Andrew’s waking hours will be spent in the company of people I don’t currently know anything about, but I’m sure they’ll be lovely.   Ahh, big changes.

By the time September rolls around, I think that my independent, brave little guy…who will then be five years old…will be all ready.  Hopefully, I will be too!