Nov. 19: Andrew’s eye teeth are coming in. He has been a very drooly boy the last week, and yesterday I saw the peek of a new tooth on one side. Last night and the night before he was up and very unhappy in the night. Poor boy…it’s hard to know he is hurting. And I really would think that getting new teeth would hurt! Bryan has been out of town this weekend, and both Friday and Saturday, Andrew really didn’t want to do the napping thing. Makes for some pretty long days. But about an hour ago, he looked at his crib and said, “pAh” (pacifier). I asked him if he wanted to nap and he said “nAh.” Then he blissfully, quietly went to sleep.
And I am now taking this moment of quiet not to progress on any of my household needs or to-lists. I’m browsing the internet and reading about toddlers. That and letting my brain drift quietly about without worrying about Andrew destroying himself or durable household items.
I think I need to work on consistency about what Andrew is and is not allowed to do. His Opinions are all-consuming for him, and last week’s passion is not necessarily an interest this week. So I’m trying to figure out what behaviors to promote, which ones to ignore, which ones to really not want him to do but ignore, and which ones to stop.
And where is the line between “that is not allowed” and “that is not a good idea, let’s do something else”? Can I keep those behaviors straight in my mind? What if tomorrow a “not good idea” drives me crazy and then it breaks his heart because he tells me (with his eyes), “You let me do that before!!”
Or worse, when I let a “not allowed” behavior go because I’m tired or because he is cute or because circumstances make it difficult to effectively re-direct his very directed brain. hmmm
Our current conundrum is that Andrew likes throwing his toys down the basement stairs. Wait, he LOVES throwing his toys down the basement stairs. It’s an activity that excites him so much he pants. And it is kind of a fascinating study in physics. Soft cat toys land with a soft thump a few steps down. Toy cars make a tremendous, very satisfying racket as they knock against every step. Balls bounce down the stairs and roll all around the floor at the bottom. Plastic creatures bang nicely and make fall far or near depending on how they hit the stairs. Playing cards float or fall. I would guess there are 40 toys on our basement stairs right now.
But the baby gate at the top of the stairs is only so safe. And if he somehow broke the gate and feel down the stairs (like his dad did when he was a baby)…well that could be catastrophic beyond imagining. So clearly as a responsible parent, I shouldn’t let him do this. Or at least I shouldn’t encourage it. I definitely shouldn’t stand at the top of the stairs and say, “Wow! That one was loud!”
But the last few days I’ve thoroughly confused Andrew by alternating between forbidding, attempting distraction, and condoning the throwing the toys down the basement stairs game. Setting the stage for a lifetime of consistent, dependable discipline.
Maybe next week he will pick a new behavior to try out, and myself, being a little wiser this time will step up my parenting know-how and resolve a bit. It’s amazing the things that occupy my mind!
~Althea