Sept. 13: Being away from Andrew for five days while I was in Ann Arbor with Heather and Michael was pretty hard.
In sharing their grief over losing their baby, I really had to put thoughts of Andrew out of my mind, and as time went on, I found that separating Andrew from my thoughts really took a toll on my mind and heart. It made me realize how close to the surface thoughts of him are in everything I do.
When I got back home last night, I pulled Andrew out of his crib and held him. It seemed that he has grown so much in only a few days. He can push his little push toy adroitly all over the house, he can start to make many more words (like a whispered Sss-oooky for our cat). And Bryan said he learned the sign for “floor.” Makes me get a sense for how very hard it must be for Andrew’s grandparents and aunts and uncles who don’t get to see him as regularly. I want to capture each moment with Andrew in my heart.
During my layover between train and bus in Chicago, I did some therapy shopping for Andrew. I found some cute clothes, but I was a bit chagrined to find that all the 18-24 month clothes are little boy clothes, not baby clothes. And when he wears little boy clothes, he almost doesn’t look like my baby any more. But he still sure is cute:) And his curly hair is out-of-control! I love it.
In our gallery, I have pictures of Andrew playing with Clara, my co-worker Pam’s daughter, playing with a ball, and eating chocolate chip cookie dough. I also have an album with a photo from my Aunt Julie’s wedding and Andrew coloring and playing with Dad.