Written on August 3, 2020
The background
During this time of COVID, our family has been sticking pretty close to home. From March 16 until the end of May, we rarely interacted with others in person. We got our groceries and supplies from curb-side pickup. We baked and painted and played on our phones and dyed our hair wild colors. Almost every day, we would go for walks in our neighborhood, and as the weather warmed, we explored city, county and state parks at least once a week. To really get away from home, we enjoyed camping trips to Dells of the Eau Claire and to Wild Cat Mountain State Park. It’s so nice that there are areas we can explore and play while staying 6-feet apart from others.
As the COVID regulations changed in late May, we started engaging more with the outside world. I started sometimes shopping at the grocery store in person (while masked). We started having socially-distanced get-togethers with friends in the driveway or backyard. It felt amazing to connect with people in real life and not just over a screen. Bryan started meeting friends for kayaking. The kids resumed their orthodontist and dentist appointments. Photos from our spring 2020 days are online.
In June, Andrew, Sylvia, and I bubbled with my friend Heather and her family, who live in Indiana. We talked through our exposures and social distancing protocols, all the adults got tested, and from June 12-16, we thoroughly enjoyed getting to hug and interact with people outside of our family.
Throughout June and July, our activities expanded: outdoor yoga 6-feet apart; trips to Menards and Reptile Rapture; going out for ice cream; getting the oil changed; meeting my family for a socially distanced evening at the park. Pictures from our summer 2020 activities are available online.
In July, my brother Joe (who lives in DC with his partner Reema), my brother Michael (who lives in Madison with his wife Lisa), and I started talking about having Joe drive out to visit us. Michael and Lisa hadn’t left their house much since mid-March (just to get takeout once a week and to do curbside grocery pick-up). Joe and Reema live in an apartment in DC, and they have instituted high standards for avoiding COVID contamination. Reema has asthma, and Joe has been quite concerned about Reema not getting COVID. From wiping down groceries and take-out food to spraying down phones and keys when returning home to just being very diligent about keeping the 6-foot distance and not touching things in public spaces – he’s been most careful. I find myself thinking back to when Joe lived in New York City, and because he doesn’t like germs, he was able to travel throughout the NYC subway system without touching anything with his hands.
Through a couple long phone calls, Michael, Joe, Lisa, and I created an agreement for our bubbling. We put together a document to help us all be clear on what activities felt OK and what felt dangerous or anxiety-inducing. We talked through our current behaviors and our fears about what could happen if we did get COVID. And in the end, we all agreed to bubble. I canceled a couple planned activities, and we began our Bubble contract on July 10.
Joe arrives!
On Friday, July 17, Joe picked up a rental car in DC in an N95 mask. Early in the morning of Saturday, July 18, he left DC and drove straight through to Madison. Armed with disposable gloves, an N95 mask, a bottle of hand sanitizer, and a single bottle of water, he cruised across the country. At gas stations, he used the bathroom without touching any surfaces and sanitized his hands and credit card after pumping gas. He got fast food for lunch, and he arrived in Madison around 6pm. Michael came over and we all greeted Joe with great joy and started our group bubble.
Dizzy
Joe had been staying with us for a week when we got an inkling that everything wasn’t alright. Joe, Michael, and Andrew were having an uncles and nephew gaming weekend at Michael’s house. Around 11:30pm, Joe walked upstairs from the basement to use the restroom. While there, Joe felt his vision narrow, and he caught himself as he briefly blacked out. Soon after, they all went to bed. On Saturday, July 25, Joe was Pokemon-ing with Michael and Lisa and Andrew throughout the day. Joe said he felt a little dizzy…maybe a little fuzzy in the head, but he wasn’t sure. The temperature outside was close to 90 degrees, so it seemed like maybe he was a little dehydrated. That evening, Joe and Andrew came back home to the Dotzour house. On Sunday the 26, Joe noted to me that he thought he was a little off. He didn’t feel sick, just a little light-headed. We looked up COVID symptoms, and dizziness alone is not considered a symptom of COVID. Our air conditioner had stopped working on Saturday, so the house was pretty hot on this 92 degree day. He said he didn’t feel bad, just not good enough to go rollerblading.
Late in the morning of Monday, July 27, Andrew came downstairs complaining that he felt lightheaded and a little out of breath. He had gone to bed the night before complaining of a headache, and then he had slept for 12 hours. With both Joe AND Andrew expressing symptoms, we got on the phone with doctors. Reema’s dad, Joe’s partner, is a doctor, so he was an easy first call. He asked about symptoms, temperatures, and after looking at tongues, decided that they both were on the dehydrated side. We started giving them electrolyte drinks and decided to go into the Alliant COVID drive-through testing just to be careful. Andrew had had very little out-in-the-world exposure, so we decided that Joe, Andrew, and I would all get tested. By the afternoon, Andrew said he felt fine and had no more dizziness – it was just when he first came downstairs.
Still assuming we were dealing with a heat/dehydration issue instead of COVID, we hung out at our house and played games throughout the day.
COVID!?
Life proceeded pretty normally up until mid-afternoon on Tuesday, July 28. I had gotten an email from the testing site in the morning letting me know that Andrew and I had gotten negative COVID tests. The air conditioner serviceman was working on the air conditioner and had just told me that the air compressor had died, and we would need a new air conditioner. When I walked into my office to check on my files to find out the square footage of the house, Joe was on the phone and told me to “GET OUT.” Wow. Touchy. Must be an important call.
I arranged to purchase a new air conditioner and heck, a new furnace too since ours is also 26 years old, and I don’t want it to break in the middle of winter. Oof. Delivery was scheduled for August 13.
Joe texted me and told me he was out in the front yard. That seems odd.
When I went out, he was wearing a mask. Oh no. The testing site had called him to tell him he had tested positive for COVID. Blah.
So distressing
The remainder of Tuesday passed in a bit of a blur. I started by contacting all the people and businesses I had been in contact with over the previous 9 days. Just saying straight up that that was not fun. People were very kind, but it’s a distressing call to get.
Joe moved all his belongings and bedding to the basement, said goodbye, and shut the door. He reached out to Reema’s family (in addition to her dad being a doctor, her oldest sister and brother in law are doctors and her middle sister is a nurse anesthetist). Joe also scheduled a video call with his doctor for Wednesday morning. He called family and friends to let them know.
Michael and Lisa headed to the Aliant testing site to get tested.
And upstairs at our house, we cleaned.
Have you had experience with lice? We have several times. The first time my kids had lice was so hugely distressing, and I cleaned the house with a fervor that has yet to be matched…until Tuesday. Despite temps in the 80s, the kids and I cleaned and bleached and scrubbed like people possessed. My neighbor’s dad is a janitor, and he brought me a two gallon container of Lysol, a container of Clorox wipes, and a spray bottle of janitor-level cleaning spray.
I felt overwhelmed and sad. Joe was visiting us, but we wouldn’t get to see him for a week. We’d had to worry lots of people. We wouldn’t be able to take our weekend Wisconsin River camping trip we had planned. We wouldn’t get to go visit Jack’s place together. My brain felt like it did when Sylvia was little and had been crying a lot…like I couldn’t create a coherent thought.
How do we divide up?
It wasn’t clear to us if Andew, who had also been dizzy, also had COVID but had a false negative test or not. Andrew and I had had the most exposure to Joe while he was potentially contagious on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Should we treat Andrew as sick and send him down to the basement with Joe or have him self-isolate elsewhere? And had I had a false negative as well? Even when displaying early symptoms, almost 40% of people who actually have COVID test negative.
Given all the information online about COVID, there is very little info I could find about how to manage a household when there’s been a COVID exposure. The nurse who called me back from our doctor’s office was no help.
We decided to go in for a second round of testing on Wednesday afternoon (48 hours after our first test) to see if any Dotzours came back positive since that would change how we isolated. In the meantime, we contemplated but decided not to:
- have Bryan move over to Tom’s empty apartment to keep him away from the rest of us.
- have Bryan sleep out in the yard in a tent.
- have Andrew go to the basement with Joe since viral load can make cases worse and even if Andrew was actually sick he might become more sick if he was exposed more to Joe.
Instead we decided to social distance at home until we got the results of our second COVID test (expected on Thursday afternoon). We divided up bathrooms, created a regular cleaning/handle & lightswitch wiping plan, said one person could be in the kitchen at a time, and I moved to the guest room so we were all sleeping in separate rooms. We decided not to wear masks, but we did decide to stay six feet apart, and we had all windows open and fans on.
We agreed to not leave our property until the end of our isolation. Andrew wants to go for bike rides or walks. I say no. Reema’s dad, Dr. Singh, said he thought it was unlikely that we would have gotten COVID from Joe since he hasn’t been coughing. Fingers crossed.
Second testing
Wednesday dawned and we all began to settle into this new socially-distanced-at-home reality. Bryan had moved his office from the basement up to our bedroom, so he began working there. Joe talked to his doctor. He continued to feel fine other than mild dizziness/lightheadedness. We ordered a pulse oximeter and another thermometer. I placed an order for contactless grocery delivery. I also happily learned that Reptile Rapture can deliver crickets and worms for our gecko and chameleon. Thank goodness for ample delivery services since we don’t plan to leave the property for 13 days.
It was pretty odd to social distance within our own home. The kitchen was spotless. We were all a little subdued. Worn out.
On Wednesday afternoon, we all went to the Aliant testing site for another round of brain probing. We stayed apart from each other. We cleaned.
Michael and Lisa had gotten tested on Tuesday afternoon, but their test results didn’t come back at all on Wednesday, which made for a long and stressful day for them.
A positive development – negatives!
First thing on Thursday morning, Michael texted us that he and Lisa had gotten negative test results. Hooray! Andrew and I got our second round of negative results before 2pm. A couple hours later, we still hadn’t gotten Bryan and Sylvia’s results, and we were all trying not to feel worried. But then at 5pm…negative! Excellent!
We decided that since we were all feeling OK and not exhibiting any symptoms that we could stop social distancing within the four of us. We hugged and snuggled and enjoyed sitting next to each other on the sofa. Still keeping things extra clean, but I moved back to my bed and we resumed pretty much normal interactions within the four of us.
Down in the basement, Joe continued to feel alright. Maybe a 3/10 on a lightest cold to worst flu scale. Joe had dug through the costume bin, and when he retrieved the meals I left him at the top of the basement stairs, an elegant elbow-length gloved hand or a werewolf hand would reach out. Joe’s symptoms continued as some fatigue and mild lightheadedness. Wednesday night, he experienced some lower intestinal issues for good measure.
I was feeling thankful that our air conditioning had gone out when it did. If it had been working, we would have had the windows closed over the weekend and Monday and Tuesday, and our chance of breathing Joe’s COVID-breath would have been much higher.
Bryan and I have been taking our vitamins, we are all washing hands and being cautious. Joe’s stomach doesn’t give him any additional trouble after Wednesday night.
The kids don’t seem to be very concerned. When I asked Andrew if he was worried about Joe having COVID, he scrunched up his forehead and looking perplexed asked, “Worried? Why?”
Shortness of breath
When I woke up on the morning of Saturday, August 1, the air was cool, and I was sitting down to write in my journal, when I heard Joe call through the window, “Hark!” He wasn’t just calling to say good morning. He had been having a little trouble breathing in the night. As he was trying to fall asleep Friday night and then again in the morning, he was feeling like it was hard to get a full breath. When I talked to him at 7:15am, he had already consulted with Reema’s doctor-family and his insurance company, and he was ready to drive himself to the ER. Since breathing problems can progress really quickly with COVID, Joe was wanting to make sure he was addressing the issue right away. Unfortunately, Joe’s high deductible health insurance estimates an ER visit to cost $2,600 for the day out of pocket. It seemed obvious that this was a situation that needed checking.
At the UW Hospital’s emergency room, Joe had a battery of tests…vitals, EKG, blood work, chest x-ray. Everything came out normal. They gave him an IV of saline (I assume out of ER reflex more than anything) and discharged him at 10:30am. He came home, shot down to the basement, and after updating everyone on his condition, took a nap.
Waiting to reconnect
Joe continued to feel some shortness of breath or tightness when he took a deep breath through the weekend. By Sunday night, he said he thought he was feeling better. His voice sounded chipper. He was bored of the basement. However, despite the encouragement of everyone he talks to, he hasn’t felt comfortable leaving the basement to spend time alone in the backyard. Cautious kiddo.
We got the game Star Realms for the iPhone and could play together apart. We chat by phone or FaceTime. We say good morning and good night. I stand in the sunroom and can see and talk to him in the basement. I get to make him meals, which makes me very happy.
My doctor said that we Dotzours should isolate for 14 days since our last exposure to Joe, which was Tuesday, July 28. So on August 11, we will be free…or at least as free as any is during the pandemic. She also said she didn’t think we needed to do any further testing before leaving isolation. She said the high false-negative rate is high enough that testing isn’t super helpful. “Let symptoms be your guide,” she said.
Meanwhile, according to the CDC, Joe can come out of isolation at least 10 days after symptoms first appeared (and 24 hours with no fever, which he hasn’t ever had). To be conservative, that lets him leave the basement on Tuesday, August 4. And at that point, he can re-enter society even though the rest of us Dotzours are in quarantine.
We still don’t know how Joe got infected. Reema got tested, but her results aren’t back yet. It seems like either Joe got it from the rental car or maybe the fast food on his drive out. My only other hypothesis is that I had it asymptomatically, but I’m not sure why Joe would be the only one to get it from me (not the rest of my family or Michael and Lisa). I’ve certainly been the one most out in the world, though I’ve been careful. It’s a mystery.
What’s next?
Joe gets to come upstairs tomorrow!
All the Dotzours are holding steady on feeling healthy. Really, really hoping that continues for the next week. We have a backcountry camping trip planned to Pictured Rocked on August 15, and I don’t want to miss it. Or get COVID. I also just don’t want to get COVID. It’s a strange thing to be quarantined. I keep checking on myself. “Do I have a headache?” “Was that the start of a sore throat?” “Am I sleepy tired or sick tired?” I was up in the night and unable to sleep a few days last week, but now I’m resting easier.
Joe is planning to stay in Madison through August 14, so we’ll still have lots of time to spend together in person even though we missed a week. He was originally planning on heading home on the 8th.
Thus ends my narrative for now. It’s been a rather wild ride.
